Post # 1
This morning i was discussing with my sister the fact that I wanted both my parents to walk me down the aisle and she thought it was a bad idea. My parents are divorced, my dad is remarried and my mom has been engaged for 4 years. She thought it would make my step parents feel awkward and maybe take away a moment my dad had been waiting for since my birth. I asked my mom and she thought it was a great idea, but when i brought it up to my dad he said if thats what i wanted to do it was ok, but i get the feeling he wasnt thrilled. But I feel like they both raised me and should share the honor equally. Has anyone else had this problem? Will I be taking away a moment from my dad? I have plenty of time to figure this out, i just want to hear your thoughts 🙂
Post # 3
I wouldnt worry about the step parents because they never dreamed about walking you down the aisle and dont expect to participate in that.
However, your dad probably has dreamed of it and expected it to be traditional so he is likely dissappointed, however he loves you enough to do what you want. He already stated that.
Since you already spoke about it with your mom you would be disappointing her if you were to renege the offer.
I think you will hurt the feelings of one parent or the other slightly no matter what you decide, but they both love you enough to do what you want. So, decide what you want.
Post # 4
Have both parents walk you. I don’t see why it would take a moment away from your dad–he still gets to walk you! But you’re right–both of your parents have contributed equally in raising you, they both have the right to walk with you. And since it’s what you want, I think that’s what you should do. I would do it too, but my mom is wheelchair-bound (for the time being, anyway) and also I don’t think she’d be too thrilled about the idea anyway….
Post # 5
How long has your step mom been around? Or, to word it differently – how old were you when your parents got divorced?
Did your step mom have any part in raising you?
I’m a little hesitant in you changing your mind, since your mom probably feels like that’s what’s going to happen. I think it’s a sweet gesture and would be meaningful to both of them. I would have a talk with my step-mom and just let her know what you are planning to do and that you mean no disrespect to her.
Post # 6
Coming from separated parents, it would make sense to have them both do it! Regardless of what people think, it matters most how YOU feel about it!
Post # 7
Yes, I think im going to go ahead and have them both do it. Its what i really want and i know my Dad will do whatever makes me happy. I just didnt want my dad to feel bad.
@oracle: My parents have been divorced for almost 20 years! My stepmother has been in my life for the past 8 years, and though we have a great relationship, its not the same as my mom. But it is a great idea to let her know that I mean no disrespect to her.
Post # 8
Go with your heart and don’t worry about what others think. My MIL wanted me to just have my father walk me down the aisle only. I told her that I’m having my mother walk me down too as she has an important role in raising me. Don’t let others try to convince you just because it is considered “traditional or unconventional” You don’t want to look back and have regrets in not having your mother walk you down the aisle, too. I look back at my wedding pictures and am happy to have made the choice to have both my parents there.
Good luck with your planning,
Post # 9
have them both! do what you want!
Post # 10
as long as neither are vehemently opposed to eachother then walk with both of them – they are both your parents
btw, just make sure your aisle fits all 3 of you comfortably, ive been to a wedding where it seemed the bride was leading and dragging mom and dad behind as the aisle was small
Post # 11
@eloping: I agree completely – as long as your parents aren’t going to be dramatic about being in the same place together, I think it’s fine.
I voted “other” in the poll, just because I know what I’m doing but not necessarily what’s best for you. I’m having both of my parents walk me down the aisle, but they’re still married and I checked with my dad first to make sure he wouldn’t feel slighted. I think he was a tiny bit surprised but overall very happy with the idea. In your case, it sounds like you want both your parents and that your dad wasn’t totally against it, so I’m sure it’ll be fine to have them both escort you!
Post # 12
I could be in the minority here, but why would your step parent’s feelings even matter? That’s ridiculous, the step parents know that they did not create you, nor did they raise you and therefore should know their role as step parents. Being married to your Mom or Dad doesn’t make them your parents, or give them equal priviledges. I mean no disrespect to them or anyone on here who is or will be a step parent, but unless one of the bio parents have not been around, and the step parent came in his or her place and took that role then they will always be just that. Your step parents should not feel akward, they knew that your parents created a child before they came along and still chose to enter into that relationship/marriage, so they should respect that on YOUR wedding day. Is everyone, step parents and all going to stand up when they ask who is giving you away to be married (if that is a part of your ceremony)? Okay, enough of my ranting. Have them both walk you down the isle, but they should be able to sit with their respective spouses at the reception.