- 7 years ago
- Wedding: October 2011
My Fiance wanted to pick it out my engagement ring all on his own. He knew I wanted a sapphire instead of a diamond, and white gold instead of yellow gold. Other than that, he picked it out on his own. I didn’t get to show him any rings that I liked beforehand because he really wanted everything to be a surprise, and I didn’t think he’d like it too much if I told him which types of rings I wanted. I thought he’d think it was a little presumptuous and pushy (I know him pretty well, and I am fairly confident he would have felt that way).
So in the end, he picked it out all on his own, and I do think it’s a beautiful ring, but it’s probably not what I would have picked for myself. Here is what it looks like:
It’s a beautiful round sapphire, with two round diamond accents on each side. When he proposed to me in September, I was so excited, and I told him I loved the ring. Which I do.
Then I found this ring online:
And I really, really liked it. Is it my dream ring? No, but the gems look a lot like the one he got me, and I like it even more. And I thought it might just be possible to have my stones reset to look like this ring, with the addition of two more accent stones. I thought it might be a cool way to take his selection, and make it more “me.”
So I mentioned this to Fiance the other day, and he was really hurt by this. He said he had felt, based on my reaction, that he had really nailed the ring selection, and he was feeling bad to learn now that there were other rings I liked more. Then of course I felt like a horrible, awful, ungrateful person. I told him again and again that I do think he bought me a beautiful ring, and that I was so sorry I had brought it up.
I guess my question to you is, should I have just kept my thoughts to myself? In my way of thinking, buying jewelry for someone else is really, really hard, especially with as little input as he had beforehand. The chances of getting the perfect ring without the girl’s input are really slim, so it’s not a big deal if you don’t necessarily pick the “perfect” ring on your first try. And since she’ll be wearing it for the rest of her life, she should be able to speak up and get it changed to make it a better fit for her without it being a hurtful thing.
What do you think?