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Should I have my bachelorette party the night before the wedding?

posted 3 months ago in Parties
  • poll: Which night should I have my bachelorette party?
    Friday night before Saturday night wedding (everyone could come - 25 gals) : (7 votes)
    6 %
    Thurs. night before Sat. night wedding (Chicago guests, some OOT but no Milwaukee guests - 12 gals) : (52 votes)
    47 %
    1 month before wedding (Chicago and Milwaukee guests, but no OOT guests - 8 gals) : (44 votes)
    40 %
    Don't have one : (8 votes)
    7 %
  •  
    1.
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    Newbee
    paut0012    June 9, 2012  

    I have a bit of a problem. I recently moved to Chicago and don't know a lot of people here. Most of the gals I would invite to my bachelorette party are from Milwaukee (where I grew up - 1 1/2 hr drive), Arizona (where I went to undergrad), California (AZ friends), or the East Coast (where I went to grad school). Even my fiancé’s sisters (who are bridesmaids) live in Colorado and Iowa. There are only about 8 or so people I know who actually live in Chicago: friends of my fiancé, some of his cousins (who I know relatively well), and some of my cousins (who I don't know that well). Then there about six friends who live in Milwaukee (4 of 6 have children so I am not sure they can come to the bachelorette party anyways) and the rest of my friends and relatives live across the country. 

    I suggested to my MOH that we have the bachelorette party the night before the wedding. I thought it was a great solution to my spread out crew because that way all of the ladies attending the wedding could come, but she thought it would be too much. She said she didn't want to go out two night in a row and thought we would be too tired. However, we have an evening wedding, so we wouldn't have to be up that early and could easily keep it low-key. I figure we could just go out to a few bars after my rehearsal dinner, which will likely end around 9pm or 10pm. 

    Does anyone have any experience with this? Is it a terrible idea? I don't want to burden people with back-to-back events, but I also don't want a bachelorette party that could possibly only have five people. Also, do you think Thursday is better? Would OOT guests get here by then?

     
    2.
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    Honey bee
    hisgoosiegirl    June 18, 2011  

    I would at least do it Thursday night. Not in a hundred years would I do it the night before.

    Waaaaaaaaaaaaay too many episodes of Bridezilla where someone thought that was a good idea and everyone's hungover, cranky, or sleeps in waaaaaaay late.

     
    3.
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    Busy bee
    aardvark    April 14, 2012  

    I think it would be fun to go out after rehersal dinner, but I would want it to be with FI and everyone. Not just a girls thing and not too late into the night (I <3 my beauty sleep) I would have a bachelorette the week before with whoever can make it to Chicago and call it good.

    What time is your wedding ceremony?

     
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    Blushing bee
    goldie602    June 22, 2013   PA

    I say not the night before the wedding. But any other night would be fine. :)

     

     
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    Bee Keeper
    totheislnds    February 12, 2011   NC

    Neither my husband or I had a bach party mostly because he doesnt have many friends here so we waiting until the thursday before our wedding when most of our friends came into town and had a little shindig then. it was lots of fun!

     

     
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    Bumble bee
    MilksMom    June 23, 2012   Richmond, VA

    @paut0012:  Hahaha if it's going to be anything like mine, DON'T do it before the wedding!  But, if like you said, it will be low key, I suppose you could.  I think maybe Thursday would be better.

     
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    les105    May 6, 2012  

    I'm planning for a pretty low key bachelorette party, too, and we are doing it the Friday before my Sunday wedding. I didn't want people to have to travel twice (most of my BMs are OOT), but I also didn't want to have to go to bed early or watch my drinking (not that I would get incoherent, but I don't want more than a glass or two the night before my wedding). Everyone seems happy with my decision so far, I'll let you know how it goes after May 4th :)

     
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    paut0012    June 9, 2012  

    @aardvark:  The ceremony is at 6pm, so we probably don't need to get to hair and makeup until 11am or noon.

     
    9.
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    Busy bee
    reebee    November 12, 2011  

    ooo terrible idea... get your rest the night before the wedding.  Even the week of your wedding is stressful, you won't believe how many last minute things you'll have to get done - I was up late every night that week finalizing seating charts/placecards, assembling programs, menus, putting together boxes of decor, packing, coordinating with vendors, dropping off out-of-town bags, the rehearsal dinner, the bridesmaids luncheon...  At least a week before, but better to do it a month before.  And 1-1/2 hours isn't a very far drive, just get a hotel suite for everyone to crash at afterwards!

     
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    Bumble bee
    auggiefrog    August 25, 2012   Wauwatosa, WI

    I agree, not the night before the wedding...  you may be too stressed out to enjoy it.  At least have it on the Thursday before.  

     
    11.
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    Bumble bee
    auggiefrog    August 25, 2012   Wauwatosa, WI

    @reebee:  I agree! I live in Milwaukee and love excuses to come down to Chicago! If I had kids I would have no problem leaving them with dad or a babysitter! 

     
    12.
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    QCamB    March 2012  

    I'm having my bachelorette the Friday night before the wedding (it's a DW in Vegas). The wedding will be at 6:30pm on Saturday so I feel that people will be able to recover from a hard night of drinking if it DOES happen. All of the guests I'd want there are coming from out of town so having a party any earlier back at home would be pointless as nobody would show up and there is NO way I'm going to ask people to take an extra day off of work to come in Thursday! I think for your situation (slightly similar to mine), you don't really have a choice. The only difference between our situations is my MOH and BMs support the Friday bachelorette plan! I've gotten a lot of "nays" here on the boards.. but sometimes there's not much you can do when people aren't in the immediate vicinity and you really want them there!

     
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    paut0012    June 9, 2012  

    @auggiefrog:  A Wisconsinite who comes down to Chicago all of the time? I wish my friends would do that! They actually hate coming down here because of the traffic. I don't get it because it's not that bad... lol

     
    14.
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    Sugar bee
    PinkMagnolia    November 2011  

    TERRIBLE idea to have it the night before. Even if you're not hung over, there's a good chance someone will be in your bridal party. I think Thursday is a good compromise!

     
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    Helper bee
    dashwoodgirl    September 2, 2012  

    I just got to say I shuddered at the thought of the night before :) You want to look refreshed the day of!

     
    16.
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    paut0012    June 9, 2012  

    @QCamB:  Thanks for the support! I was starting to think that no one understood what I was saying. If I have it earlier than Friday, I am going to have to have a super small bachelorette party without 3 of my 4 BMs or my closest friends from college and grad school. Instead, it would just be my best friend, 2-3 friends from high school, maybe 1 of my FI's gal pals, and possibly a few relatives (who I am not that close to). I almost would rather not have one. 

    The idea of going out before the wedding seems a little scary, but if we keep it low-key and get back by midnight or so, it seems like it could work.

     
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    Sugar bee
    joy2011    October 22, 2011   NE Ohio

    25 is a bit on the large side for a B-party, IMO....

    If you're closer to the chicago/mil girls than OOTers who couldn't come, then do it the month before.

     
    18.
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    paut0012    June 9, 2012  

    @joy2011:  The numbers all represent the highest number that probably would come on that day, so it would likely not be that large since some OOT guests won't make the wedding at all. I am definitely closer to OOT guests because I just moved here last year and haven't live near the midwest for ten years. I am just starting to hang out with Milwaukee friends again.

     
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    Bumble bee
    naturalysam    July 6, 2012   Pictou NS

    We have a similar issue however instead of a crazy night of driking where thinking of going to a great pottery studio and just have a blast. I think its really not smart to have more than 2-5 drinks the night before your wedding and with us that will be wine at dinner probably. I think a crazy night on the town should be atleast a week before the wedding and ideally a month.

     
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    naturalysam    July 6, 2012   Pictou NS

    Has anyone ever though of the off chance that someone gets pulled over by the cops. It happens way way too often (family in law inforcement).

     
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    Blushing bee
    MelnChris    June 8, 2012   Cortland, New York

    I'm having the bachelorette party about a week before the wedding so we can party, pamper and recover.

     
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    Bumble bee
    ticatica    July 2012   UK

    No! Not if you want to get a little tipsy!

     
    23.
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    FYA2012    July 26, 2014   universal city, texas

    i would do it thursday if alcohol (even a lil) will be in attendence. and esp. if you are having a morning/afternoon wedding. this can become more of a hassle later.

     

     
    24.
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    Honey bee
    Evie19    January 21, 2012  

    Please, dear God, do not do it the night before.

    I had an out of towners party on Thurs night before by Sat night wedding and I just BARELY recovered from it by the day of the wedding.

     

     
    25.
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    hiddendaughter    August 31, 2012  

    We're actually planning on doing our parties the week before since it's on a friday. we're going to do it the saturday before

     

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