Post # 1
We are running into a dilemma in choosing our wedding party. My fiance has 5 groomsmen (all MUST be GM) and I have 3 very close girlfriends who will obviously be my BM. There are 2 girls who I am considering, but am having second thoughts about. We have known eachother since birth and I have always considered them good friends. The problem is that they moved away about 5 years ago and we only keep in contact about once a month. The other dilemma is that they are sisters, and I am much closer with 1 than the other. I feel that the one would feel hurt if I had her as a PA instead of a BM. Should I ask them or not? I really don’t want to have uneven numbers of BM and GM but I don’t want to ask someone that I am not extremely close with. On the other hand, these are girls that have always been and always will be there.
Post # 3
I’m not sure I understand what your reservation is? Is it just that they live far away?
Post # 4
My reservation is that I don’t feel we are as close as we once were. We only talk about once/month, whereas my other BM and I talk almost daily. I think of them as close friends, but I’m not sure if I consider them close enough to put them in the party. My mother (who is very close with their mother) seems to think they would be honored to be part of our day, but I am having reservations about it.
Post # 5
Even if you don’t speak that often, when you see them is it like no time has passed at all? I have friends like that and I wouldn’t dream of not including them in my wedding. I tend to think that old friends are just different than new friends (they tend to live in different cities, and communication can be more sporadic), but that doesn’t make them less important.
Post # 6
Three of my bridesmaids live out-of-state and we communicate about the same amount as you do with your friends. I don’t think you should justify the quality of your friendship on quantity of time you correspond. I say GO FOR IT if you think they’d feel honored to stand by your side! Good Luck!
Post # 7
If you don’t want them in the wedding then please don’t ask them. You don’t want to regret it later and you can’t kick people out of your wedding unless you want to ruin friendships. You don’t have to have even sides. Your FI can have 5 GMs and you can have 3 BMs and it will look perfectly fine.
Post # 8
@vanillapeaches25: I raised questions in my previous post because of one thing you said at the end of your post: “These are girls that have always been and always will be there.” It seems you have been very close in the past, and you expect to remain good friends for a long time, so I wondered why the reservation.
Is it simply because you’re not as close to them as to your other BMs? From my perspective, all of your BMs don’t have to be equally close to you, but each one should be special to you.
Maybe one thing to do is ask yourself, if you do include them, what are you afraid might happen? If you can really get to the root of that, I think you’ll have your answer. 🙂
Post # 9
You are the bride, do what makes you feel happy. There is nothing wrong with having an uneven bridal party, looks kinda cool in pics I’ve seen. If these girls are your friends and you want them in your party, do it! If you feel like you are drifting away and the relationship is slowly dying, then dont bother. You don’t want to have people in there that you know you wont talk to a month after the wedding. I have 7 girls, some I see weekly, and others once a month, but I love them all and want them to share my special day with me.