Post # 1
So we had our Jack&Jill party this past weekend and everything was really fun. After we announced all of our raffles, I noticed that my dad was nowhere to be found…I asked around if anyone saw him and my Uncle mentioned that he said he had to go outside for some air because he wasn’t feeling well. It turns out that he left and went back to the hotel (my parents live out of town and got a hotel close to the venue of our party). I was sad that he didn’t say goodbye but since he was sick I’m sure he didn’t want to say bye to everyone.
The next morning my mom and dad came our house to pick up their dog and start heading back to their house. My dad still seemed a little weird but he did say that he didn’t feel well and that his allergies were acting up…I believed him but I wasn’t sure if that was the entire story.
My dad called me this morning and said that he didn’t want to tell me what happened at the Jack&Jill because my FI was home with me. He said my FI stepfather (whom was a little tipsy at the party) was being inappropriate to my mom. He was saying stuff like “if I wasn’t married…” blah blah blah, and then my mom said “well, I am married” and pointed to my dad…so my dad thought that he would take a hint and stop. But he didn’t. He kept grabbing my mom’s hand and taking her over to his table and just being a creep. My dad then said I was either going to say something and there was going to be an issue or he was gonna punch him in the face.
He told me not to tell my FI because he didn’t want him to get upset or embarrassed. He also told me sorry he didn’t say goodbye because I was having such a good time and didn’t want to make me upset.
My FI stepfather was even a little creepy with me when we were taking pictures with the family. Like too close for comfort, but I just let it go because I knew he was drinking.
But, I ended up telling my FI because I feel like he should know. My FI said “F*** him” (his stepfather) and “He should have punched him”.
Now my dad think my FI stepfather is a creep and now I’m nervous about what’s gonna happen at the wedding. I know I can’t think ahead like that because maybe nothing will happen.
This is the kind of stuff I HATE to deal with.
So…was it wrong that I told my FI? Also, anyone else deal with stuff like this?? Ughh..
Post # 3
Deal with him like any other creeper you would at work or something,
“I have heard from one or two people you were making uncomfortable advances toweards them at the party, to curtail such things at the wedding, I am going to have to ask you to only enjoy two cocktails that evening, and if I have to, I will tell the bartenders such.”
Simple. If he doesn’t like it, oh well.
ETA: No, it was the appropriate thing to do to tell your FI.
Post # 4
It doesn’t matter if you should have told him or not, because you already did. For the record, I think it’s good you told him. Now maybe he can have a groomsman or other family member keep an eye on him and sort of diffuse or prevent situations like that at the wedding.
Post # 5
I think the reason why this is hard for me is because this is my FI stepfather (my soon-to-be step-father-in law?? HAHA) and it’s not like it’s his creepy old uncle or cousin. We don’t see his mom and stepdad a lot, but it’s still “ugh”.
Post # 6
I’ve had to deal with alcoholics and their bullshit over the years, not saying he IS an alcoholic, but, the same pricipal applies.
Post # 7
And I’m glad your FI didn’t flip in defense of his SD.
Post # 8
I think you did the right thing by telling him and maybe a frank discussion between your FI and his step dad is in order before the wedding.
Post # 9
- Wedding: August 2012 - Sunset Harbour
If you dont want to deal with this before the wedding, let the bartenders know at the wedding that at a certain point – he is cut off. Just make his drinks virgins, or really really weak.
Post # 10
@axeyourmakeupkit: I agree. I wasn’t sure what he was going to say about it…but I really felt that he had to know about his behavior.
Post # 11
@b00kbug: That is a great idea…he thinks he’s a ladies man as it is, but when you add alcohol into the mixture, it makes any situation that much worse. I feel bad for my FI mom…I don’t even know if she knew he was acting this way. But he does talk about his ex-wife A LOT. (They got divorced and she passed away a year or 2 ago.) But he excessively talks about her…like to a point where I think it’s absolutely ridiculous.