Should I hire a private investigator?

posted 2 years ago in Relationships
Post # 2
Member
245 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Oh man that’s so tricky. I’m sorry he’s being dishonest, maybe you should just ask him what his deal is. Is he not happy anymore in the relationship to want to “live a little”. If u want to investigate be your own PI. Or just show up to the party yourself, you said some coworker asked if you were coming. Contact them and get an invite, show up later on and see what ur bf is doing. 

Post # 3
Member
1137 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

It would be a little short notice to hire a private detective. However, certainly something is up. Keep “investigating” and in the future, you may want to bring a detective into this.

 

Post # 4
Member
7410 posts
Busy Beekeeper

bluesparkles:  If it has gotten to the point in a relationship that your thought is to hire a PI then you should just call it quits. Anyway this turns out trust in the relationship is shot. 

Post # 5
Member
2725 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

No. No. No.

Why don’t you just talk to him? If you can’t trust him to be honest when you confront him, then you shouldn’t be together at all. This is an incredible breach of his trust, and a relationship-ending move if he finds out. No matter what this person finds, it will make your relationship worse. And what about  next time he goes out? Are you going to live your life checking up on him? 

Talk to him. And if you can’t do that then you need to move on.

Post # 6
Member
3016 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014 - Prague

Agreed that a PI is pointless. You know he lied and even if his “guest” is a guy friend, he clearly is wanting to party away from you. A discussion needs to happen. I would prepare yourself.

Post # 7
Member
4641 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I’d rather part with my lying boyfriend than my hard earned money.

Post # 8
Member
8426 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

I would probably just break up with him and use the money to treat myself to something nice.  I agree with other PPs, there is obviously no trust in the relationship if you’re even considering hiring a PI.

Post # 9
Member
100 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

My mom is a private investigator and she always says that if you’re concerned enough that your partner is cheating to hire a PI, then they probably are and you shout just save your money. 

Post # 10
Member
1883 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

bluesparkles:  I don’t think you need to hire a PI for something that you already know is happening. Honestly, I would just show up at the bar (probably with a friend). It might not be the best thing to do, but he can’t really lie if he’s caught red handed. I would be interested to know what his response would be when you show up and there’s plenty of other women there. It sounds like a serious conversation is in order. 

Post # 11
Member
557 posts
Busy bee

umm thats a huge waste of money. If you feel like you need a PI then this is obviously over..

Post # 12
Member
7271 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2013

There’s no point in hiring a PI. You don’t trust him (and it sounds like he’s not trustworthy), so your relationship is pretty much doomed. You should just ask him about it and save yourself the money. I’d be gone either way.

Post # 13
Member
943 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Do you have any friend that isn’t a mutual one, or maybe a sister or cousin, that you could take with you to just show up at the bar?

Post # 14
Member
518 posts
Busy bee

If you can’t talk to him about it and trust his answer after 10 years then it doesn’t sound like a relationship worth being in. If you really feel the need to do it, call a friend and ask her to go spy on him, you going isn’t going to get you much info on his activities. I urge you to go to counseling to increase your self worth so you can realize that in a string healthy relationship you can just talk to your partner and be able to trust them.

Post # 15
Member
527 posts
Busy bee

No. I know fisrt hand that PI’s will take your money, promise the world and never deliver. I agree with PP. If you can’t talk to him after 10 years, the relationship is over. Frankly, I would just tell him I know the truth and go from there. Go where? Out the door probably, but I would watch him struggle with his newfound reality first, that you are on to him. What a dick move on his part.

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