Post # 1
I am thinking about inviting only a certain group of people to the Ceremony as there are few people in our regular list of guests that I rather NOT invite to the Ceremony… (FI ex, acquaintances, etc). Of course, the people who are invited to the Ceremony will be invited to the Reception as well..
- Smaller, more intimate ceremony
- Only important people get to witness us saying our vows
- Less costs = less seats covers and parking to pay for (we are using seat covers and also paying our guests parking fee of $7 per car at the hotel)
- New set of invitations, more costly
- People not invited might create dramaaaaa
Have any bees had any similar experiences? how did you handle it?
Should I invite all guests to ceremony?
FYI: ceremony starts at 1PM and reception wont be until 6PM.. and they will be in different locations..
As to why they are even invited… well basically courtesy invite.. It is certainly NOT for gifts!...
FI ex is friends with FI group of friends.. also FI reasoning was they didnt end up in bad terms, they remained friends, other ex is going.. i am completely fine with the other ex cause we do get along… however this last ex is just gives me the weird vibe and we can’t seem to hit it off even with all the common friend events we have been too.. it is our wedding afterall, not only mine so gotta compromise somehow..
And as to acquintances,, i am referring to group of friends i used to hang out with but not particularly close to now but since i have been to their wedding, it is just polite to invite them back.. they are friends that were really close to me at once so the fact that we are not anymore doesnt mean i dont want them in my wedding reception… i wouldnt mind them at the ceremony at all is just that if we try to keep ceremony small, acquintances will not make the cut to the ceremony invite
PS: I have made a lot of changes to my Original Post due to feedback and reactions from bees.. lols.. but yeah thanks for the honesty bees!.. all feedback welcome.. i may just end up inviting them all just to save some drama.. in the end FI picked me to marry him *_*
Post # 3
If there are people you don’t want at the ceremony, why are you even bothering to invite them to the reception? You said, “only important people get invited to the ceremony”. If that is how you feel about the other guests, why bother?
Post # 4
Why are you inviting exes and acquantances anywhere if you don’t actually want them to come? Not to mention that usually you pay more money to have them at the reception than at the ceremony.
If I found out I wasn’t part of the “important people” that got to witness the ceremony, but was good enough to come to the party and bring a gift, I would be very hurt.
Post # 5
@hotpinkbride: courtesy invite =/ .. FI ex is friends with FI group of friends.. as to acquintances, i am referring to group of friends i used to hang out with but not particularly close to now but since i have been to their wedding, it is just polite to invite them back..
Post # 6
Only important people get to witness us saying our vows
Why would you spend the money on someone at a reception that you have deemed “unimportant” and not worth being at your ceremony? If I found out I was in the group that only got a reception invitiation, I’d be angry, and feel like you were only looking for a gift. It’s one thing if your ceremony is immediate family only (no exceptions) or in a religious setting that doesn’t allow non-believers in the church/temple, I think it’s rude to decide who is important enough to witness the marriage ceremony, and who is unimportant enough to only be able to congratulate you after.
Post # 7
Yeah, no. Some circles this is acceptable but a huge majority of people would just find it rude.
Post # 8
If you have a truely intimate ceremony (meaning only close family only, no friends, no more than 20 people) then it’s ok. Otherwise it would be very rude to invite only some people the ceremony and others to just the reception. It would be a tiered wedding and basically points out that some guests are better/more important than others.
Post # 9
@lstyle25: There is no rule that says if you were invited to someone’s wedding that you have to invite them to yours. That is very nice of you to do so, but it’s your day, you should only have the people there that you want. I don’t think it matters that his ex is friends with your FI’s group of friends. I think it is perfectly reasonable to not invite an ex and honestly, she probably wouldn’t want to come anyway, so why put her in the position where she either feels like she has to come or feels weird declining. You don’t want to be thinking about her on your day!
Post # 10
The only ways I can see this being acceptable is if you eloped or had a courthouse ceremony and a large reception after. Otheriwse, it’s pretty rude.
Post # 11
@hotpinkbride: hmm yes she will be going for sure.. and FI and i had many fights over it so i decided to just let it go and invite her.. ughh
@Jer72: and i did want to elope! however Fi thought i would regret not having a wedding plus his dad seem to want the wholee ceremony and reception thing so we decided to go for it and to keep it small of about 150 people..(small in terms of asian weddings)..
Post # 12
@lstyle25: He fought with you that his ex needed to be there?
Honestly, it sounds like you need to review your guest list. You don’t need to invite people just because you went to their wedding. You also dont need to invite people who you used to be friends with but arent close with anymore. A lot could change in a year so I wouldn’t make any firm decision.
Post # 13
Yes you should invite all guests to both the ceremony and reception. If they’re not important enough to come to the ceremony, then they’re not important enough to be at the reception either.
Post # 14
sorry i didnt mean to say they are not important.. however, i would prefer a more intimate ceremony.. reception wise i dont mind at all having them there to celebrate with us.. vows are quite personal..
Post # 15
@Bostongrl25: yes.. his reasoning was they didnt end up in bad terms, they remained friends, other ex is going.. i am completely fine with the other ex cause we do get along… however this last ex is just gives me the weird vibe and we can’t seem to hit it off even with all the common friend events we have been too.. it is our wedding afterall, not only mine so gotta compromise somehow.. and as to acquintances, they are friends that were really close to me at once so the fact that we are not anymore doesnt mean i dont want them in my wedding reception… i wouldnt mind them at the ceremony at all is just that if we try to keep ceremony small, acquintances will nto make the cut to the ceremony invite
Post # 16
I feel like if they are invited to the reception, they should be at the ceremony IMO