- 4 months ago
- Wedding: July 2017
Im trying to decide if I should invite my cousin after years of not talking.
Backstory, my cousin and I were extremely close growing up. I considered her an older sister. We lived down the street from each other and so we had a lot of play dates. As we grew up, I looked up to her as the cool older cousin as she blazed the path through high school. Looking back I realize she can be quite a drama queen. She used to tell me about all the ways her friends would piss her off and she would hold grudges against them for weeks at a time, if not months. I never thought anything of it – she was a cheerleader, that sounded normal.
We had our share of fights like all girls but they always blew over pretty fast.
She left to college and my twin brother and I just happened to end up at the same one as her the next year.
She got me a summer job the summer before I left for college at the local resort and I loved getting to see her everyday at work.
While at this job, I met the man who would become my fiancé. He was instantly my best friend, and we hit it off ridiculously well. I left for college at the end of the summer but he and I stayed in touch.
I went through rush and was slightly crushed I didn’t get into the same sorority as my cousin but I got into another great one that fit me better and that I really liked so we went on, hanging out a lot at school.
One night she came over for dinner and as I was baking cookies for dessert she was going on and ON about this guy named *Cade. It was Cade this and Cade that. Allllllll about Cade. I mentioned in passing that my now-fiancé *Adam was also a pretty attractive guy to which she agreed, but then she went back to talking about how perfect her life with Cade would be someday.
Note, we barely said anything about Adam.
A few weeks went on and I invited Adam to a football game with me at my school. He was an avid fan of my schools football team, and yet never been to a game there. I posted a photo of Adam and I at the game thinking nothing of it.
Later that week I asked my cousin if she wanted to study together. No answer. Okay, cool she’s busy, I assumed. Another week or two later, I invite her to see a movie. Radio silence. Kinda weird, she’s always on her phone but it’s cool, I figure she has a date party or something.
My sister suddenly sends me a screenshot of a post my cousin has written on Facebook about me calling me a two faced slut who finds men more important than family. At this point I’m beyond shocked. I send her a text asking her what the deal is and she turns on her read receipts to show she’s reading my texts but isn’t replying.
I don’t even KNOW she’s talking about Adam bc we were just friends at this point, so I’m crying and calling her and begging her to tell me why she’s upset with me. She screams at me “YOU KNOW WHY” and hangs up. I call her again and tell her if she tells me I promise never to bother her about it again, I just want to know what’s wrong.
She says she knew she had feelings for Adam and I was a bitch for going after him when she knew I liked him, basically chews me out on the phone and tells me to never talk to her again. I send her apology after apology for weeks on end, only to get ignored. Soon she starts dating Cade and I figure it’s okay for me to date Adam and we get together.
Yall. It gets worse though. Every Christmas, Easter, or holiday she doesn’t come if she knows I’m going to be there. She’s that dedicated to avoiding me. Even the ones at her parents house. We haven’t talked in 5 years. I’ve tried to apologize periodically over the years for hurting her but I can’t apologize for dating Adam. When I first told Adam, he was very confused. He said they’d never so much as had a solo conversation or one on one hangout and he was absolutely bewildered why he’d been the thing to come between us. She was still nice to him at the resort (they still both worked there in the summers) but absolutely hated me.
She recently got married and invited my siblings and I to the wedding the week before.
Personally I’m ready to bury the hatchet and make up. I miss my cousin and I’m tired of things being weird and honestly to me the grudge is stupid and dramatic. I’m not sure if inviting her to the wedding would be taken as a sign of good faith or as I’m a bitch rubbing it her face I’m marrying Adam.
Growing up I always imagined she’d be IN my wedding party. Now her day has come and gone and I’m not even sure if she’ll be at mine.
Would inviting her be a healthy move or a stupid move?