(Closed) Should I invite my dad to my wedding?

posted 7 years ago in Family
Post # 3
793 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

If you want to invite him, and you aer paying for it yourself then invite him. But I also want you to be aware that this possibly might make your mother mad and might decide to tell you that she will not attend unless you uninvite him, which is sad really. I have the same problem with my family. My parents divorced when I was 10 and my mom tells me it is because my dad was abusive and controling of her. Well my dad harbors hard feelings towards my mom for making him seem worse then he was. I don’t really know what happened between them, I mean I saw them argue and and my dad throw things and stuff which is scary, but I never saw him hit my mom or anything like that, but anyway they don’t like each other. My dad doesn’t even like to come to my newphew’s birhtday parties, because he knows my mom will be there, which is horrible. I think to myself all my life my parents tell me to stop acting like a child and grow up, but when it comes to situations like this they act like children themselves, and I just think “Practice what you preach.” but anyway they are both coming but I can just see it getting akward. I am just telling you to be careful, but I think that it isn’t up to your mother whether or not you want a relationship with your dad, that’s normal, but it is up to your mom whether she is still going to come if your dad comes. Which I’m sure if that happens she will regret that she missed your day over something so stupid, but I just want you to be aware like I said before. I would talk to her about it, but be ready for her to tell you something you might not want to hear. Good Luck.

Post # 4
7340 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

Sounds like your mom might be just as much of a problem.  If you have no first hand experience with him being bad I think you might want to give him a try.

Post # 5
46225 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Oh, the troubles brides have with parents.

I would have a private talk with her, tell her what I had done and give her time to get used to the idea.

I would make it clear that I wanted both my paremts at my wedding and that my expectation was that they would both behave like adults and conduct themselves civilly.

Then, please remember to think about how you can make this easier for her. SDeat her in the front pew, your father and his wofe in the second pew. Ditto with the reception seating. Make sure your mom has the position of honor.

Post # 6
221 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

It’s your big day and what you want!!! Just know it could cause drama. I feel your mom still has so much hate for him and she wants you to hate him also. Some woman have a hard time with letting their kids have relationships with ex’s. Maybe your father has grown up to be a better person. I truly believe everyone should get a 2nd chance!!! good luck!

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