Should I invite my pen pal?

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
754 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

If you have never met her in person, I would not invite her unless you arrange a time to meet her before the big day. 

Post # 4
Member
2299 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

@MissKit:  If you want to meet her, and you think that your wedding is a good time, why not extend the invitation? It doesn’t mean she has to accept.

If I were her though, I’d probably decline… You are the bride, so you won’t have very much time to spend with her while she’s there, and she’ll be alone in a room of people that she doesn’t know.

Post # 6
Member
9412 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@MissKit:  I wouldn’t invite someone I had never met, spoken to, or seen. I am suspicious by nature, so she may not be who you think she is. Also, I am assuming you have a guest list cap that you will probably want to use on close family and friends.

Post # 8
Member
1244 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

It’s not weird to invite a pen pal, but I would want to at least speak to her on the phone first. Ever seen that show Catfish?

Post # 9
Member
9412 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@MissKit:  How did you meet her? That sounds like a pretty cool relationship – though I still vote not to invite her to something as significant as your wedding. You don’t need any unnecessary drama or problems on that particular day!

Post # 10
Member
1290 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@MissKit:  I think it’s a nice gesture to invite her since you feel she is a close friend, though you haven’t met in person.  I actually was invited to my pen pal’s wedding many many years ago (she was in college and I was in elementary school).  It was very sweet of her to invite me and made me feel very special to have been invited.  On the other hand, I’m guessing you’re the same age so it’s not like you’re making some little girl’s day (lol), but I would probably want to meet her first.  Though the week of the wedding (if she flew out early) would likely not be the best time to meet/hang out for the first time, it could be very nice if you hit it off.  I guess just go with your gut.  It could be really cool to have her there.

Post # 12
Member
2111 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

@MissKit:  When I was younger, I made a friend online and, without meeting, I invited get to my quinceñera. The entire night was so hectic and since I hadn’t met her before, I didn’t realize until way, way after the event that she’d even come. The face wasn’t one I recognized immediately. I’d said hello, then moved on and never saw her the rest of the night. I still feel bad that she took the time to come for nothing. There were so many people that I just assumed she was a distant cousin or friend of a relative.

 

Post # 13
Member
1102 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@MissKit:  I would invite her i think tis a great way to finally meet and let her bring a guest so she dosnt feel alone  in a sea of stranger but its a great way to finally meet and if you feel close enough to want to ask her to come to your wedding then u totally should 

Post # 14
Member
7216 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@MissKit:  I’ve met one net-friend over the years. It was great to meet her and she looked nothing like I thought she would (this was pre-facebook). But my feeling is that a wedding would be a rather weird time to meet the first time. Plus, she’d know no one else there.

Post # 15
msjackrabbitMember
1080 posts
Bumble bee

@MissKit:  I was in a similar situation. FI and I met online through a forum, and were both friends with a girl on there. We both talk to her reguarly on FB and have been in touch for 6 years or so.

Unfortunately, she lives AGES away (north Scotland, we’re South England) and wouldn’t have been able to make it. She wouldn’t have known anyone else so we unfortunately had to decide against inviting her (plus we could only invite about 10 friends each due to his GIANT family).

She sent us an engagement card, and even a gift (I cried my eyes out at that – what a sweetheart) and we could tell that she was so genuinely happy for us and didn’t make us feel at all uncomfortable about not inviting her.

I do wish we could have though. If she’d had known people, and FIs family wasn’t so huge, and she didn’t live so far away – we would have loved to have her there. I feel like I’ve already met her.

Post # 16
Member
99 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2012 - Chapel of Flowers

@MrsPanda99:  +1! I also would be a little suspicious. Better safe than sorry. 

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