(Closed) Should I invite them or not? HELP PLEASE

posted 8 years ago in Reception
Post # 3
Hostess
18646 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

If you can afford to invite them, maybe you should since you have already told them that they would be invited and it would be sort of rude to take it back.  If you really don’t have the money to invite them, I would tell them that you are sorry but you had to drastically cut back on guests due to budget concerns.  You have to be careful about inviting too many people to the wedding just because you think that they won’t come because it might turn around where they are able to come afterall.

Post # 4
Member
7976 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

I’d say no.

Have you made a guest list yet? For me, my first version of our guest list included pretty much everyone I’d ever met. Then I pared it down. And pared it down more. And more. And now I sit and stare at it and know that I really have to take another 50 people off of it or we’re not going to be able to afford to have a wedding… but can’t decide who to cut.

Maybe you can send out a second wave of invites (with a later date on the RSVP) to this wave of coworkers/friends if you get a lot of RSVP ‘no’s later?

Post # 6
Member
2682 posts
Sugar bee

It really depends on how close you are to them and what you want to do.  There are several people I said I would invite (before I was engaged) when I worked in a restuarant.  2 years later I got engaged but didnt work there so I only invited those that I still talked to.  How long ago did you tell people you would invite them?  If it was recently I would probably still invite them but thats just me.

Post # 7
Member
335 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

I’m using a 6 month kind of rule. Haven’t talked to them in 6 months? They’re cut.

Honestly, I’m using the “our venue is pretty small” excuse. And I’m sure we’ll do a post honeymoon party at our place to invite all those other people.

Post # 8
Member
1510 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Invite only who you want at your wedding.  It’s YOUR wedding, don’t feel bad if you don’t end up inviting everyone you have ever met.  Think to yourself if you would regret having (name) not present on your day.  Make that the determining factor, not if you feel like you need to invite them.

Post # 9
Member
1336 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

If you still feel close to them and talk to them often enough for them to know what is going in your life, why not?  Just remember that you cannot invite every person you have ever known, it’s how close they are to you.  It’s also nice to think about who would really appreciate the invitation and make an attempt and would want to be there. 

Post # 10
Member
1135 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I say for anyone you haven’t talked to or messaged in the last 6 months, I wouldn’t even consider them on the invite list. I think people who are not really close with you might understand if you didn’t end up inviting them. But, if you talk to one or two of these on a regular basis and have mentioned inviting them beyond just one mention, then I think it would be appropriate to invite them.

I’m having a similar issue. I have some college friends I haven’t talked to in a while that I’m considering of inviting. But I think I might want to try talking to them more often first. There always are a few people on the edge. It depends on if you want to continue to work on those relationships or not worry about them.

Post # 11
Member
900 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

If you decide not to, just tell them you had to keep the wedding really small.  That’s what I’m doing for the people like my mom’s friends or distant relatives that are not gonna make it into my tiny 85 person list.  (Even if yours is larger…it sounds good.)

Post # 12
Member
1719 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2008 - Winery in the Gold Country

If someone told me they were inviting me to their wedding, even informally, and then they didn’t in the end, I’d be irked. I plan my calendars really far in advance since I don’t live near my friends and family, so if I’d intended to block off a weekend for a wedding I thought I was going to, only to find out that I wasn’t invited, I’d be really hurt. Ultimately it is your decision but a verbal invite in my opinion is an invitation.

Post # 13
Member
305 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

like some of the other posts….its YOUR wedding. only invite who you want to be there. when it comes to your wedding….the person that has to be happy and comfortable with everything is you and your fiance. if you start trying to please everyone else too you’re just going to add unnecessary stress. picture yourself dancing the night away at your reception….who do you see out on the dance floor with you?

Post # 14
Member
2532 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I would say that if you dont hang out with them in person, then no. Especially if its been a really long time. You dont have to feel obligated to invite them just because you told them that a while ago! Its your decision

Post # 15
Member
19 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2012
Post # 16
Member
570 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I never consider a verbal invitation to be an invitation… unless I’m really close to them, I never make assumptions because I know things come up. I know that budgets get cut, guest lists get out of control, and if I was that close to them then it wouldn’t even be crossing my mind as a potential guest 🙂

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