- Miss Sorbet
- 7 years ago
- Wedding: November 1999
When I was young, my uncle had a girlfriend of many years who had a daughter around my age (I’ll call the daughter J). J’s biological father was an alcoholic, in and out of jail, and had been abusive to J and her mother. My uncle had no children of his own and considered J his own daughter. Sadly, J’s mother passed away when J was 9, and J was sent to live with an aunt. For a while, J was allowed to visit my uncle, but eventually the aunt cut off communication between the 2. I think she didn’t see the point of my uncle staying in J’s life because he wasn’t a blood relative.
My uncle did everything he could to keep in touch with J to see how she was doing in school, etc., but there was little response. When J turned 13 we heard that she had moved in with her bio father. We were all so sad and shaken by this news, because he is really not a good man. Eventually her father left and she was taken care of by her step-mother, which I think was a good thing. She graduated high school and went away to college.
Just a few months ago J contacted me on Facebook. I was so happy to hear from her, but she seemed hesitant to talk about my family and especially my uncle. That was understandable because she has been through a lot since we were “her family,” and a lot has changed. I know she has major trust issues as well.
Last week I was so delighted to hear that out of the blue, J visited my grandmother and my uncle! She still called my gma “grandma.” They were so happy to see her, especially my uncle.
Anyway – on to the point of this post! I would very much like to invite J to my wedding, but I don’t want to pressure her. I know my family would LOVE for her to be there, but I don’t know if that would be too much for her. On the other hand, it may make her feel very good to know that we still consider her a member of the family, because she really has no family of her own.
I’m probably overthinking this, because the worst she could say is no. I just don’t want to “scare” her away when she was just starting to reach out again.
Do you think I should extend an invite to her? It is kind of last minute (1 month to go) and I don’t know her address so I would have to contact her through Facebook. Personally, I would really like her to be there, because I have always considered her my cousin.