- 5 years ago
- Wedding: August 2012
So I’m reaching out as I am struggling to decide what to do. I have talked to my Mum and my husband about this, and I feel I would like some outside perspective. I’ll try to keep this short and to the point.
Okay, so a little background, my family isn’t very close. I have 3 older brothers, and our parents divorced when I was 18 months old. My Dad remarried, and had 4 more children, and I don’t see him anymore. My middle brother and I fell out recently, won’t go into detail there, as that relationship is beyond repairable! I however, am close to my Mum and the youngest of my brothers. I was always close with my eldest brother, until he met his partner of 11 years, who he now has 2 children with.
So my issue is, my eldest brothers partner, we’ll call her A has never liked me. She has always found anything to pick on me for. I should also mention I am 24, and she is 33. My Mum seems to believe that she has never liked me because I used to be extremely close with my eldest brother C. I honestly think she doesn’t like me because whenever I see her she always tries to put me down and make me feel awful, but I always stick up for myself and put her back in her place.
Over the past 2 years my relationship with both C & A has become more and more distant. Of course, I would love it to be different so that I am able to get to know my nephew, 5, and niece, 1, but I just cannot stand A anymore. My Darling Husband and I got married late last year, and they attended, C walked me down the aisle and my nephew and niece were our pageboy and flower girl. The day was perfect, and A was lovely – which kind of blew me away! I thought okay, maybe she has finally decided to grow up and not be so petty. Well we saw them a week after our wedding, and she still seemed fine..
Skip to late November, I contacted her asking what they were doing for my nieces first birthday, as I had my work Christmas dinner on the weekend I assumed they would have her party. When A replied “I have no idea, I just don’t have time to sit around and think about things like that!!” – her birthday was two weeks away!! A is a stay at home Mum, who frequently goes on and on about how she has no time for anything..
So after A’s rude response I decided to rsvp ‘yes’ to my work dinner. A week later A sends a text message inviting Darling Husband and I to my nieces party, which she had planned for the weekend I asked her about! So of course I couldn’t go as I had already rsvped to my work dinner.
To cut a long story a bit shorter, it turns out that A is really mad at me for not attending my nieces party. I personally think she is using this as another excuse to be mad at me and try to cut me out of their lives (she has already done that with the youngest brother J!).
My issue is I don’t know whether I should just keep ignoring her immaturity and try to rebuild a relationship with my brother and his children. Darling Husband and I are expecting our first baby this September and my brother is so excited…yet A hasn’t even bothered to congratulate us because she’s still mad at me for not going to my nieces party.
This woman is so nasty! I could sit here and list everything she has done, but that would take forever. But I will say that she has tried to get my Mum out of the picture, she has no respect for her and speaks down on her as though she is a child!! She managed to get her way and not have my brother J in their lives as of 5 years ago. I don’t however believe this is only her, my brother C is just as much to blame for not standing up to her.
I hope this makes sense, and any advice would be appreciated!