Post # 1
My FI is graduating from college on Friday(YAY!). Both of his parents are coming down tomorrow for it(his mom, dad, step-mom, and step brother) Well I decided it would be nice to go and have everyone over to our apartment(we live in Florida while everyone is in Michigan) My FMIL is staying with us which I’m excited for. We get along really good and we used to have days where we would go out together(i lost my mother at 16, so she slightly is filling in though told me she doesnt want to overstep anything). My FFIL I’m not to sure about since we never had much time together. Another reason why I really wanted to do this dinner. I hand made (69)perogies(that does take a lot of work for anyone who knows how to make them without a pasta maker) filled with my potato mix along with having bread pudding for dessert. We sent out text for it and everything making sure everyone would be happy with perogies but just a few minutes ago my FI got a text from his father saying how his wife and her son want to go out to where so they wouldnt be joining us. Fine alright its the son’s first time to Florida, go have fun, so we then asked for after his gradation if we could get everyone together for a nice dinner afterwards and he just said that they already had plans. So they are coming down tomorrow, going to FI gradutation at 4pm then my FI and his father is going out fishing on the ocean(which I’m really happy for) then leaving on Sunday morning. I’ve been trying real hard to be good with both FILs but everytime I try it just seems like it’s never good enough. I just feel so lost and hurt. I know not everyone will like me and everything but I would really like if my FFIL at least liked me some since I’m marrying his son.
P.S. I know it’s their vaction too but they are also down here because of FI so I figured there would be some more time with all you know.
Am I just being selfish?
Post # 3
@rmrsln2010: It may be kind of a no win situation.
It’s very nice that you’re really making an effort to include them. On the other hand, as you say they probably do want to do some vacation things, and probably don’t want to be ‘those’ in=laws – the ones who expect you to entertain them every minute.
Post # 4
@fascinated: Yeah, I guess it’s jsut kinda hard for me right now because in my family if someone is getting married they would have at least one dinner with both sides of parents/siblings to get everyone to know each other and everything. Right now FI and I live in Florida, while all of our family is up in Michigan. So even though its just his side I still wanted to do a nice dinner for all of them. I will not be back up in MI till a month before wedding and FI wont be up till a week or two before then.
Post # 5
let me overstep your boundries here and be a polish momma for you for a moment (which I am)
“Kochanie – you worked so hard on those wonderful pierogies and my Gawd, bread pudding? people are crazy if they dont want to eat your delicious bread pudding. So they want to be on vacation? let them -they dont know what they are missing – my perfect SIL to be and my beautiful daughter, and thats too bad for them, but you, you are a precious thing and you better never forget it…now do you want me to mix dill in that sour cream or are you going to serve it plain?”
I miss my mom too, and sometimes I hear her voice… especially at age 50 now when i talk to my own 20something daughters… hugs to ((((you))))!
ps if you need to hear it – it will be okay. it will all work out to be a wonderful weekend!
Post # 6
Might it be an issue more about the divorced couple having dinner with each other, or the 2nd wife not being crazy about spending time with the first wife (who she prob knows you are tight with)? Rather than anything to do with you. Maybe things would be different if it was only the father & his current wife being invited?
Post # 7
@MirnaMinkoff: That’s a really good point. I didn’t catch that when I first read the OP.
I’m sorry that you went to so much effort. It seems very weird to me that they don’t want to catch up and have a meal together to celebrate the graduation.
Post # 8
Did everyone know that you were already in the thick of things making the dinner? Because it sounds like a miscommunication, not a slight. It really, from the limited info you listed, sounds as though they were trying to save you the work and actually be nice to you by suggesting going out to eat. I honestly think they were trying to be helpful, not slight you.