Post # 1
So, I’m Maid/Matron of Honor in my best friend’s wedding, and they’re still quite a ways out from their date, but they’re starting to talk about themes. Last weekend when we were talking about wedding stuff, she told me that they’re floating the idea of doing a 1920s theme and she wants to put all the bridesmaids in flapper dresses.
Honestly, I’m not thrilled about this. I don’t think flapper dresses are actually flattering on anyone, and would like to actually like my dress. I have a feeling the other bridesmaids would agree with me. I haven’t told her I don’t like it, but I haven’t said I like it either.
Should I just suck it up and do whatever she wants? Am I a bitch if I tell her I don’t like that idea? How would you handle this situation?
Post # 3
@SadieBee: Wait to see what kind of dress she chooses.
Post # 4
Are there any dresses from the era that you like? Maybe show her a few pics and she’ll change her mind on her own. Other than that I think it just depends on the bride. I’m letting my girls pick whatever dress they want so they’ll be comfortable on that day. Other brides want their BMs to look a certain way. I would probably just try to communicate with her, after all, she is your best friend. Good luck.
Post # 5
I’d just wait and see. If she asks you your opinion of her idea/choice, give her some input… but don’t volunteer info. If she chooses flapper style, be the happiest dang flapper in town. 🙂
Post # 6
Don’t say anything–at least not now. First, she hasn’t even decided that yet and sooo many wedding ideas float around at first that it could easily change. Second, “flapper” dresses could mean a lot of things and she may be going more for the ‘inspired’ look than the literal, which means you might be worrying over nothing. Third, even with the literal interpretation, you haven’t seen the dress–better to voice concerns over a specific dress than over her whole idea. Last, this is kind of the territory that comes with being a bridesmaid–you may just not love the dress.
Post # 7
I wouldn’t say anything. As other posters mentioned, she could change her mind. And, really, everyone has a different opinion, and it’s not really a bride’s job to make sure everyone likes the dress she picks. Sure, optimally, everyone would like it, but it’s often not possible. (I do, however, believe a bride should be sensitive to budget)
I would suggest searching around for a flapper dress that’s as close to your style as possible, or something from the era that you like, and making a few suggestions.
Post # 8
There’s so much more going on in the roaring 20’s than the flapper. This was an era of sophisticated silhouettes, luxurious fabric and elegance…in fact the flapper, was really with all of its fringe and boyish shape isn’t the iconic shape at all…have her watch The Cat’s Meow, that the 20’s the the letter!
Post # 9
- Wedding: March 2014 - Brazil Room
Check out unique-vintage.com. They have dresses considered “flapper” that are actually really fabulous. I’m all out for 1920’s themed stuff myself.
But I also remember when I was getting married the first time, how awful it was when one of my bridesmaids hated the dress I picked. She didn’t like the color and made me feel awful about it right in the middle of the bridal salon. If you don’t like the dress, maybe do some research of things in her theme and find something you like that you can discuss together 🙂
Post # 10
Check out sue Wong dresses. Lots of her gowns resemble “flapper” dresses and are super cute and flattering. Best if all you can find a lot on eBay and sites like ruelala, ideeli and haute look
Post # 11
IMO it’s not your wedding, you don’t have to put the pictures in your house, only for one day you are going to wear something you don’t like just to make your friend happy. And you will save your self a lot of drama if you just suck it up and throw that key away. You have to weigh out the pros and cons. So you don’t like the dress… its only a dress not something that’s as important as a friendship.
Post # 12
It’s one night, just wear the dress she wants. It’s not that big of a deal, if she wants it for her wedding, then let her do it.
Post # 13
I say give your opinion if she asks you. Otherwise, go along with it. It’s her wedding.
Though yeah, I agree with you, I don’t like the flapper look either.
Post # 14
I’d say cross this bridge when you come to it. These things tend to evolve a bit in early stages. But upside of a flapper is she might get you guys to rent costumes, which could be much cheaper than purchasing a bridesmaid’s dress??
Post # 15
@SadieBee: I would wait until she dresses are chosen. there are other dresses in the 20s than flapper.
Post # 16
Give your opinion if she asks.. but it’s her wedding, and i really think you should just go with what she wants.. It’s really frustrating when you’re a bride and you envision your wedding a certain way, and people are clouding your dream wedding.. lol sorry, not trying to sound like a bridezilla.. but as a bride to be, and as someone who has been a bridesmaid for quite a few weddings, it’s best to just let the bride have her way on her day… don’t give her any more reasons to be stressed.. the wedding itself is already going to be crazy stressul for her