Weddingbee boards

I have noticed discussions about wearing your e-ring.....this may seem strange to some, but has anyone ever thought about just selling theirs?  Here's the situation.  I lost my job 8 MONTHS AGO!!  We've been doing fine, thank god, but since christmas we've had trouble getting back on track.  I have applied to millions of jobs, but to no avail.  We have recently started trying to get pregnant, too soon to tell right now, we want to buy a house, all that stuff.  I wish we did the house thing way back when, but I have a commitment issue when it comes to living in one place too long (I have moved 17 times in the last 10 years, the longest I have stayed in one place is a year).  Thank god DH's credit is excellent, but with only one income its so hard to find anything!  Anyway.  I wear my ring only when I go to an "event", ie, family gatherings, weddings, showers etc.  Both of my rings, for that matter.  Everyone always asks me where they are.  I am not really a fancy jewelry kind of person, I like weird stuff....like stuff on Etsy (DH thinks I have weird taste - I don't think its weird).  I wanted the rings before because I thought that was important.  I don't like wearing them now because I feel like they represent a "taken" status, like I am owned, I feel like the e-ring is some sort of status symbol, etc.  I mean, I love them, they are exactly what I said i liked, but I feel like I would live a simple, unique band instead.  Also, the money will obviously be useful.  It seems like a waste to let it sit there all the time.  The only thing is, obviously they should mean something - they do of course, the proposal, wedding ceremony, etc. is obviously a part of it.  My question is - has anyone ever decided they didn't want their rings anymore?  WIll I totally regret it if I do sell them?  I know DH would probably be happier to sell them than to leave them in a jewelry box all the time....he gets so mad....opinions anyone?  Also, I know a lot of people upgrade their rings after so long....we could just do that someday too....does THAT take away the meaning of it?

It seems to me that your rings represent a sense of guilt.  Like they are a reminder of time when you both were contributing as a couple towards a common goal.  It sounds like with the lost of your job that you feel guilty about not contributing.  When you got married it was for better or for worse and while you may be at a low point there are more betters to come.

What did the rings represent to you when you first got them?  Why has the feeling passed?

I think often our rings are a component of social/life situations. The ring is definitely a symbol of "taken" socially, but who wouldn't want to be "taken" by the love of their life and want to wear something as symbol of this love.  While your life situation involves being at home searching for a new job and now taunts you as a money pit, it may change to a very demanding work envinronment at some point and represent love bringing calm to an otherwise stressful situation.

The point is you can sell it, but will you miss it in a month, in a year, in 20 years.  Obviously you can sell the rings, but it wouldn't be a good return monetarily.  You could reuse the metal in the ring to create your unique band and sell the diamonds if the rings just don't fit your style anymore. 

The options are limitless, but if you just want to sell them for the money, how about reworking your family budget instead (ie landline vs. cellphone), there are plenty of people who are in similar situations, but you should be grateful for what you do have...The rest will work itself out.

Good Luck!

You're not the only one who has thought about selling their ring. 

You may come to find later down the road that you wish you had your ring, whether it be sentimental or something you can pass onto your children.  You may decide you want to wear it again. You'll be surprised how fast you grow out of certain things like etsy. 

Also, any financial issues you're having now will soon pass and then you may wish you hadn't sold it. Resale value isn't good at all anyway on jewelry.  If it was worth buying in the first place, then there must have been good reason for it. 

Even if you think you'll never miss it again...you'll be surprised how much it might mean to your daughter or daughter in law. I had a ton of junky jewelry that I "outgrew" from past relationships and such. I was about to sell the metal for cash when my husband's 5 yr old niece said she wanted a ring with a stone in it like mine. I was able to dig into my stuff and give her a ring with a purple stone in it. It meant nothing to me, but meant the world to her. 

My computer broke, so I have just been able to read your comments.  I just wanted to clarify my feelings...I think I rambled and got off track.  Yes, I am not working.  This $ thing however is not the reason I thought about selling them.  Just that extra $ is always a good thing.  We are financially stable, but I tend to over-analyze everything and worry to the point of making myself sick.  Luckily, DH gets paid well.  Yes, I want a job, but we can live without it.  I am just bored out of my mind.  We pay an insane amount of $ for rent, more than most pay for a mortgage.  Our lease is up soon, so we are trying to buy a house, which will save us a lot.  We have a really good health insurance plan, incredible annuity and retirement package.  I think my point was more that I am far from a "keeper of unused things", if something isn't being used, I donate it.  I don't like clutter.  So I just felt like not wearing them was a waste.  When we got engaged, I felt like I was supposed to get the ring, to make a statement to everyone saying, see, I am getting married.  I don't like that.  I know I am "taken", I love my husband, we are very happy, and very prepared and ready for a baby.  Maybe "taken" was the wrong word.  "Owned" is more appropriate, though not because of financial reasons.  I had to support him way back when after he got laid off.  I am in control of the finances, and surprisingly it doesn't have much of an affect on our relationship at all.  Its just that since we got married, I have realized that the big ridiculous wedding, the rings, the money spent has nothing to do with our marriage.  All those things since then have meant less and less.  I want to have a band, but I just don't feel like I need a huge diamond and diamond band to prove anything to anyone?  I just feel like everyone says oh, you are engaged, then oh you got married, let me see the ring.  EVERYONE asks.  When it has nothing to do with us as a couple, you know?  I just meant that I'd rather have the money to buy something more important than have something to show people....also, whenever I didn't wear it, DH would tell me he was going to sell it.  SO, I talked to him, because honestly, if I were too uncomfortable being open with him about something like this, I shouldn't be married to him....he was like, do whatever, I just think you'd lose more money than you'd make selling it, so it wouldn't be worth it.  Therefore, I am keeping it, and it will continue to sit in my jewelry box, so sad!  Its also really uncomfortable to wear both together, btw, which is another reason why I don't wear them.  I have really short, fat fingers ; )  So thanks for all your comments....I think ultimately someday I would miss them, but for now I might just get some simple band to wear!