Post # 1
Ok, I will make this as short and to the point as possible. I have a friend with a teenaged daughter (I think she’s 19). I saw her daughter today at my lunch hour. Her daughter may or may not recognize me, but we’re definitely not friends.
Here is the problem. Her daughter was with a guy I know through other mutual friends. The guy is 34, and kind of a scumbag. I know this from personal experience, and by that I mean he is on our state’s sex offender registry. I don’t know the exact reason, but it does say its “3rd degree sexual assault.”
Should I tell her?? I would SO want to know if my daughter was associating with someone like this. However, she is an adult, and its not truly my business. The only reason I would is for her safety, not to cause drama or anything like that… please help!
Post # 3
34 and a sex offender hanging out with a 19 year old girl? I would 100% tell my frined if I found out their kid is hanging out with someone like that!
Post # 4
I would tell. It’s not like youre trying to start drama – youre concerned with good reasoning.
Post # 5
Definitely tell your friend (her mom?) and if possible find a way to tell her.
Here in Australia there was a recent case where a convicted murder did his time, was released, and has now killed again. And I’m sure his poor victim (she was 22, he was 46) never knew his history. So I feel very strongly about this.
Post # 6
You’re concerned for her safety. I would tell. I know she’s 19, but a lot of 19 year olds aren’t mature enough to understand what kind of guy they are hanging out with. I’m 19, and FH isn’t 30, so it isn’t like I’m against an age difference…but this guy she’s hanging around with is a registered sex offender. That right there is enough to tell the parent, no matter the guy’s age.
Post # 7
I would definitely say something! When I was a teenager, a friend of my parents told them about someone they were concerned I was hanging out with. Turned out it was not a concern, but as an adult and hopefully future parent, I can appreciate the fact that they only meant for the best!
Post # 8
Yes, tell your friend! I’m 20 so pretty close in age with your friend’s daughter, and I would want to know if I was hanging out with someone potentially dangerous. It might make her angry at first (mom’s friend getting in her business), but once she realizes that it was for the best, she should get over it. If she doesn’t stop seeing the guy, at least you did what you could by warning her mom.
Post # 9
If the man is a registered sex offender I feel that you must. Your friend’s daughter is a 19 year old who may be too naive to realize the danger she is potentially in.
Post # 10
- Wedding: May 2013 - Walt Disney World
Yes, I would tell your friend about him.
Post # 11
Tell her mom. Even at 19 you should know hanging out with a sexual predator is NOT intelligent.
Post # 12
if you had a daughter hanging out with someone like that would you want to know??
there’s your answer.
Post # 14
I would tell your friend. At 19 she might not listen, but it’s better than saying nothing IMO.
Post # 15
Slight update: She’s probably closer to 21. Like I said, I don’t know her daughter all that well and I am only just friends with her mom. But judging from my initial reaction and your advice, I don’t think it matters if she’s 19 or 34 herself. I know that my friends daughter (at whatever age) is spending time with a registered sex offender. Nothing else really matters, does it?
Post # 16
Also 3rd degree sexual assault is a class c felony.
Granted this is from an Iowa law firm, but felony generally means its the same most places.
Sex Abuse in the Third Degree: Is divided into two subsections:
- Commits a sex act against another by force or against the will not rising to the level of First or Second Degree; and
- Alleged victim is incapable of consent or there is a special relationship between the defendant and alleged victim. This subsection is broken down into 6 additional subsections:
- Alleged victim is suffering from a mental defect or incapacity which precludes the person from giving consent;
- Alleged victim is 12 or 13 years of age;
- Alleged victim is 14 or 15 and the defendant is a member of the same household;
- Alleged victim is 14 or 15 and the defendant is related by blood or affinity to the 4th degree;
- Alleged victim is 14 or 15 and the defendant is in a position of authority and uses it to coerce the participants submission; or
- Alleged victim is 14 or 15 and the defendant is 4 or more years older than the alleged victim.
Penalty: Sex Abuse in the 3rd Degree is a Class C Felony carrying with it a 10 year term of imprisonment as it is a forcible felony. However, two theories of Sex Abuse in the 3rd Degree are not forcible felonies and the court can grant probation. These include:
- Sexual abuse between spouses; or
- If the conviction for felony sexual assault involves an alleged victim that is 14 or 15 and the defendant is more than 5 years older and the “sexual assault” was not by force or against the will of the alleged victim.
- Sexual Abuse in the 3rd Degree is also subject to the “special sentence” of lifetime parole.
- A second offense for felony Sexual Abuse in the 3rd Degree requires life imprisonment.