- 8 years ago
- Wedding: January 2011
In January, SO and I were in the Caribbean when he shocked me by purchasing a gorgeous diamond engagement ring for me. He’s a pretty traditional guy, and since he wanted to wait to make it official and propose to me formally, after wearing the ring to dinner (his idea) I gave it back to him to give it to me later.
Little did I know that 7 months later we would still not be officially engaged. Back when he got the ring he said that he wants to get married before the end of the year. We’re both older and have been married before. We agreed that it would be fun to elope and get married on a beach somewhere.
Of course I started thinking about wedding plans as soon as we got back from that trip. By March I had decided that my dream would be to get married in St. Lucia. I also really wanted to get married on 10-10-10. It is a cool number and it my mother’s birthday.
I figured we had plenty of time to plan, but I got busy searching for travel packages (and naturally, all things wedding-related). We were talking about taking a fall vacation, and when June came I was really frustrated that I couldn’t officially plan our wedding. I told him I wanted to plan our vacation and he said to go for it. I gently explained that I was kind of hoping that in light of our previous conversations, that the October trip would be our weddingmoon/honeymoon. He said he hadn’t thought of that but loved the idea.
I gave him info about different deals like cruises and different destinations. I explained that while St. Lucia would be more expensive, if it was going to be our wedding/honeymoon, it should be more special than a regular vacation. I also explained that if we were to get married there, the resort gives us a free wedding because we would be staying 7 days. And with that cost savings, it turns out to make the St. Lucia package a good value. I spelled out all of the options for him (in a detailed email) and he responded that he wanted to do St. Lucia.
Well, that was 2.5 months ago and I’m still ringless. In a related conversation the other day, I mentioned that it had been 7 months since he bought the ring and he was genuinely surprised. He said he didn’t realize it had been that long yet didn’t really provide an explanation as to why.
We’ve both been very busy this year – he’s training for Ironman, I’m in the midst of a career change. He says he has absolutely no doubts about us or our future together, but it is making me really sad. I don’t want to talk to him about this because I don’t want to pressure him or steal his thunder. But I’m becoming more and more withdrawn and he doesn’t know why. I am starting to take his stalling very personally.
I know he doesn’t realize that I need some time to plan if we’re going to get married in October. I refuse to try on dresses or do any more than I already have without a ring on my finger. I don’t want anything fancy, but I don’t want a mad rush to get ready for my wedding day.
I don’t know what to do now. Should I just let go of the idea of a St. Lucia wedding and just try to enjoy the trip. Do I say something to him? I don’t want to pressure him to propose. I want him to do it when he’s ready and how he wants to do it. Should I just plan to get a dress off craigslist if he proposes shortly before our trip?
Help me out, bees. What should I do?