Should I let this go? Need advice about SO ignoring me…

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
2576 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@sparklypinkkitty:  I think we may need more information. For example, are your texts questions or just statements? If questions, then yeah, that is rude if it happens multiple times (one or two times – maybe he honestly did not get the text). If statements, maybe he just didn’t think it warranted a response? Maybe if you could give an example of what one of your “ignored text” convos looked like, we can assess better.

Personally this is why I hate texting early on in a relationship. It helps fuel laziness and causes way too many grounds for miscommunication. Also, some guys just have a crappy texting personality, and that’s fine. Maybe they are better communicators in person.

Post # 4
Member
1340 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@MrsNewDay:  I will not text early on in relationships. I was pleased as can be when my FI made a point not to do it either.

How long have youbeen dating this guy? Do you have other reasons to suspect that he’s not that into you?

Personally, I’d stop texting him!

Post # 5
Member
9137 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

Texting etiquette is difficult, especially early in a relationship.  He may legitimately not see your follow up texts or he may just want a break before responding or he may be avoiding you or he may be of an older generation (like myself) where we don’t text constantly all day long.  Who knows?  I agree with PP to stop texting or not expect an immediate response to every text.

Post # 6
Member
2576 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@solidarity:  I agree – I won’t text early on in relationships and was happy as a clam when my SO actually picked up the phone and CALLED me early on in our relationship. I also won’t FB friends too early either. I feel it totally takes away from the mystery of meeting someone new. You just can’t beat the old-fashioned way.

OP – Solidarity’s post above made me think of something else – how often do you text this guy? There is such a thing as text overload, and by not responding to your texts, your SO could be hinting that. Then again, we need more information to assess your situation.

Post # 8
Member
7654 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

DH did the same thing when we were dating, but it didn’t bother me. Your BF probably doesn’t view it as putting social networking before you. Why does he have to text you back immediately upon receiving your text anyway? I think you’re getting a little worked up over something very minor and blowing it out of proportion. If it bothers you, you need to be asking him why he does it and tell him how you feel. You can obviously show him your phone that proves that you sent a message at 9:15AM and he got it.

Post # 9
Member
8706 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

If the question needs answering, just ask it again. If it’s little statements or dumb stuff, let it go.

You need to pick your battles. I don’t see him as putting anything before you, he just didn’t want to respond to your text. Depending on how often you text (As others have said there is a such thing as a text overload) you’ll probably just need to let this go. Also, sometimes people get distracted.

I have the attention span of a goldfish. My husband can text me a life-or-death question and I’d be giggling about the baby toads on our porch. It happens. Sometimes I’ll get distracted playing a game or doing something else and need to think on my answer before I reply. It wouldn’t even need to be something serious, he could ask me what I wanted for dinner or when we needed to renew the car’s plate tags or when was the last time I got gas and I just need a minute to mull.

If I were you, I’d let it go.

Post # 12
Member
385 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Sometimes texts don’t go through right away.  I’ve gotten texts days after they were sent sometimes.  Why are you assuming he’s lying?

Post # 13
Member
4576 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Honestly? This sounds like 80% of boyfriends. Sorry for generalizing, but in my experience men are a)more easily distracted and b)slower to respond to texts. It’s just something I’ve observed.

My BF, for example, loves to play games on his phone on his lunchbreak…which happens to be when I text. If he gets a text, he’d have to stop his little game, answer it, then log back in. You can guess who wins out on that one 😉 He’ll just call me after.

I really wouldn’t overthink this. He may not feel your message required a response, or he may have thought to himself “i’ll hit her back later” and simply forgot.

Post # 14
Member
6505 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

If I get a text while I’m doing something else on my phone I press the ‘x’ and continue what I was doing. Sometimes I remember to go back and check it and sometimes I don’t. I personally think that it’s ridiculous that people expect immediate responses. 

Post # 15
Member
6000 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

I know that previous posters are saying it’s not a big deal but I’ve been in that situation and it’s really annoying. My ex would always ignore my calls/texts yet I knew he was getting them and bitch buttoning me or just plain ignoring me. I used to feel so insignificant when he would do this. Thank god he’s an ex and my FI doesn’t do this. If he doesn’t answer pretty soon after I call/text him, I know he’s busy because he always calls/texts me back when he gets a minute. It may not be a big deal but I would just have a conversation with him about it. Don’t get all defensive or whiney, just say “hey, you’ve been kind of ignoring my texts lately and I feel pushed aside”.

Post # 16
Member
1332 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

Do you live together? One thing that could help is discussing things like dinner plans, who’s going shopping, appointments, etc either in the morning before you leave the house or the night before. Then you’re not in the middle of the workday hanging for hours before you can make plans for the evening.

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