Post # 1
Beatiful bees! Since my FH family is not so fond of me, not very supportive of our engagement as they want him marrying an ex-girlfriend that his kids are used to, I was thinking that maybe I should make an effort for them to get to know me better. something like meeting my FSIL for drinks, get to spend a weekend with FFIL and FBIL, though they were so cold to me when I went there for the first time (never went back really). I want to try and give them a chance to get to know each other better maybe they’ll come around for the sake of my FH. It’s unfair to be asked to choose between a partner and family.
What does everyone think?
Post # 3
I think that’s a great way of trying to win them over! Someone who is clearly trying to make an effort and killing them with kindness is very difficult to dislike! You already have one thing in common, and that’s your FH. Good luck and I hope everything works out for you!
Post # 4
that does sound like a good idea! maybe they will love you instead of the ex!
Post # 5
Good luck with that. I think your ideas sound nice. You could always do an intimate dinner or something too.
Post # 6
I think the best approach is really to just "get in there" and try to be wiggle your way into the family. You said you went once & never really went back again… perhaps they see you as the cold, unfriendly one who is keeping your FI from them? (I’m not agreeing with that statement- just trying to figure out their POV)
Initially my FI family didn’t like our age difference, his mom kept calling me an ex gf’s name (her name started with a C, mine is with an R- so it wasn’t an accident) & his sister NEVER corrected her and scoffed instead. It was hurtful! We are a LD couple & everytime I’m there I invite his parents over for dinner & board games… so about every 2 months or so. It’s a nice way to bond & show them you love and can take care of their son, etc.
I was at his parent’s for Mother’s Day & while we were waiting for his other siblings to arrive the four of us played board games. Now I’m closer with his parents than anyone else in his family & whenever we get together its marathon sessions… I mean, atleast 6-8 hours of time together. It’s a lot, but they appreciate it… Just weasle your way in there & remain sweet and helpful! Let them know you aren’t going anywhere by actually being there.
How can they dislike a wonderful, kind person?!
Post # 7
a geg is in order. Charm the socks off of them.
Post # 8
I think it would be really nice and mature of you to "be the bigger person" and reach out to them. It’s a lot harder to be stand-offish to someone who is being warm and kind to you. Invite them over for dinner or offer to share some of their hobbies or interests.
Post # 9
I’d give it the best shot I could. I remember being worried that my guy’s parents would still have this huge bit about missing his xw since they were married so long. he had been divorced 2 years when we met.
Turns out I was wrong! they never missed her at all! (I almost wish they did b/c it would make things much easier imho).
Just be bigger as the other bees suggested. How close are you to his kids? it seems the family thinks the kids really liked her?
Post # 10
A sincere effort is always appreciated! Good luck!