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Should I or Should I Not?

posted 2 years ago in Catholic

Member

1,597 posts

Bumble bee

accorn June 9, 2012 Texas/Louisiana

My boyfriend and I have been together for quite a long time and if it were not for my mother's insistance that I not get married until after undergraduate I believe that we would already be on our way to marriage. We are planning on getting married shortly after I graduate.

That being said, I am trying to decide whether or not I should take RCIA classes. He is Catholic and I was raised Catholic but did not get confirmed. I know it would be very special for him if we could get married at the altar. My own feelings on this are mixed, I do not believe I want to get married in the church but I will do so for him. I almost wonder if RCIA would change my mind on the matter but I do not believe it would, I still think I would not want to get married in the church if it were not for him. Should I do this to make him happy or should I leave things the way they are?

As a side note, he has not asked me to do this for him I am doing this of my own accord.

2 years ago

Member

25 posts

Newbee

FutureMrsD August 4, 2010 Vancouver, BC, Canada

I think that if it doesn't go against your own beliefs then what you are considering doing is a wonderful thing. I would like to think that if my FH did not feel he was compromising his own beliefs that he would do somthing like this for me - I know that for me getting married in a church would be the only way I could do it. Way to go for even considering this!

2 years ago

Member

69 posts

Worker bee

KlingonBride

I'd say, before you take that step, talk to the priest at your fiance's church (or the church where you'll get married, if it is different) about what is required. The Catholic Church allows non-Catholics to get married in the church, right up at the altar - my husband and I were married in a Catholic church (I am Confirmed) even though he is not religious. We just didn't have a full Mass - there was no Communion at the service. The rules may be different for you since you were raised Catholic, though.

I'm suggesting this because, while the marriage ceremony is about pledging yourself to one another, the Confirmation ceremony is about personal religious conviction. I'd think it might be weird for you to do that if you weren't feeling it.

Good luck to you! It's great that you want to support your fiance in this way!

2 years ago

Member

197 posts

Blushing bee

JoeyEmma 1st Aug 2010 England

I think you need to have a think about what this means. Do you truly believe in G-d? Do you believe in the Catholic teachings (and I mean ALL of them) etc? Converting to Cathlicism isn't about getting married in his church to please him. Its about accepting theser fundamentals into your heart.

I am Jewish however, I would never want DF to convert for me. I know he doesn't believe in G-d so converting would not be for him. If he did I would know that it was for me and not because he believed in G-d and the Jewish teachings. We however, do know that we will bring our children up in the Jewish religion.

2 years ago