Should I pack my bags?!

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
3570 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I think it would be pretty hard to be in love with someone you have only met twice, no matter how much you talk. 

Post # 4
Member
9137 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

@GraceHoneyBee:  I don’t think you should move based on the situation you describe.  Love and commitment should go hand in hand, especially early on in a relationship.  If he is so committed then why doesn’t he uproot his entire life and move to MO to be with you?

Post # 5
Member
6505 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

I would never discuss marriage with someone who didn’t love me. 

Post # 6
Member
11668 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Personally, I wouldn’t be talking about marriage, moving across the country for, or going to counseling with someone i’ve met in person 2 times.

 

Post # 7
Member
7084 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

I don’t think I could really love someone after meeting them twice, but that’s me. If you see a future with this man, and it’s feasible for you to move (and possibly move back if needed), I’d certainly think about it. But if it’s going to be a huge issue if it doesn’t work out, then I’d pass.

Post # 8
Member
6644 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

No way in hell would I do this. You have met twice that is it. You really do not know this person. What they tell you online can be completely lies.

Post # 9
Member
2687 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015 - Ketchum, ID

@GraceHoneyBee:  uhm… I’m confused. Why would he be talking about marriage with someone he’s not in love with?

Post # 11
Member
851 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013 - The front lawn of our church

My suggestion would be that one of you moves to where the other is located, but that you don’t actually live together right off the bat. Give yourselves some time together and see if it’s the real thing, or just a mutual respect and admiration. I would imagine that it would be nearly impossible to know if you really love someone after only meeting them twoice in person.

Post # 12
Member
6875 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2014 - A castle!

@GraceHoneyBee:  I don’t see why he would bring up marriage at all if he’s not in love with you. It seems like a carrot he’s dangling in front of your face to get you to move out there. 

 

Post # 13
Member
1535 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

@GraceHoneyBee:  You’ve met twice, but already met his family and he’s met yours? how did all this happen?

I never said “I love you” to FI until a few months in and we were spending every single day with eachother. I wouldn’t say it to someone I met twice

Post # 14
Member
2562 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

Wait, so he doesn’t love you but wants to do couple’s counseling and then get married?
This is kind of backwards.
It sounds almost like a marriage that he’s arranging for himself!

Don’t move anywhere near him – find someone else who wants to marry you because they love you, not because they’re commited to you.
That is literally starting off with a loveless marriage.
Why would you uproot your life for that?

Besdies, do you love him?
Or do you just want to get married? 🙁

I am sort of asking myself if you need some help with self-esteem. If you do, the best thing you can do for yourself is work on YOU before yo work on any US, no matter who it is.
I really think the right thing is to get out of this relationship now, and work on making yourself into the best person you can be. A counselor can help you with that but it’s really all dependant on your motivation.

Post # 15
Member
2878 posts
Sugar bee

@GraceHoneyBee:  Marrying someone you’ve only met twice ? Don’t go that way, please. You really NEED to get to know that person, not from emails but in real life. This should raise a red flag  … 

Post # 16
Member
896 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

@GraceHoneyBee: It does not make sense to move.  I do not know why you would even consider moving for someone who does not love you.  This is not  a business (I am committed to closing this deal with my client).  Why would you pack your bags and go, and why are you even talking marriage with someone who does not love you?  I am so confused by how this is even a question. Sorry. 

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