Should I pay for my FSIL bridesmaid dress?

posted 3 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
2913 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Wynn Las Vegas

If your other BMs are paying for it, it is perfectly fine to ask her to pay as well.

Post # 4
Member
3596 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I think that is reasonable rate for a dress. Just give her enough time to save up for it.

Post # 5
Member
657 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

she can pay for it herself, especially if she has her own job and has no expenses

Post # 6
Member
1362 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Turf Valley

My FSIL is the same age and in the same situation.  I did not offer to pay, not did she expect me to pay.

Post # 8
Member
122 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

She should pay for it herself, or her parents. It’s not your responsibility to pay for it.

Post # 9
Member
2913 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Wynn Las Vegas

Ask her directly. They might still end up paying, but she can ask that herself. 

Post # 10
Member
1362 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Turf Valley

@Meant2Bee:  I would first approach FSIL and ask her what her budget is for BM dresses, and express to her that you want to know so that you stay within her budget.  If she is surprised that she has to pay, just politely let her know that it is customary for BMs to pay for their own dresses, and that is why uou want to take her budget into consideration when you choose one.

Post # 12
Member
3280 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I’d expect her parents to pay for it. That’s what mine did when I was a BM while living at home. If not she should be able to pay for it herself. 

Post # 13
Member
2132 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

I wouldn’t pay for her dress- she may be embarrassed.  If she needs help with the cost, she can ask her mother, who would probably help her out if she is helping with the wedding.  But that’s in between her and your FMIL.  Just make sure she knows the budget for the dresses beforehand so that she can figure it out if she needs to.  My FSIL is working part time while in school and trying to get into law school.  She doesn’t have a lot of money, so my future parents in law ended up giving her the money for the dress.  My sister is still a teenager, and my mom paid for her dress.  Both parents were pleased to help out because they are excited we are including all the siblings.   

Post # 14
Member
3596 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

You should tell her when you tell everyone else the price. If she asks them to pay for it and they do that their business.

Post # 15
Member
2179 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2024

No, if other BM’s are paying for theirs then she should pay for hers. Your price of $99 is very reasonable.

Post # 16
Member
1202 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

Have you already put down a deposit for their professional hair and makeup?  I’m a firm believer in having the wedding you can afford, not the wedding other people can afford to give you (not saying that’s what you’re doing, just as a general rule).  If money is “really tight” for her and for you, it might make sense to pay for her dress, and cut back on the professional hair and makeup.  That way, nobody has to feel uncomfortable about stretching their budget.    

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