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I think I'd just feel a whole lot happier emigrating if I had a ring on my finger.
Every relationship is different, and every man would react in his own way to being given a "nudge." Personally, I would not want to make a big geographic change in my life to be with a man without having some sort of solid, specific commitment in place such as a ring or a wedding date set.
If this will truly bother you, then let him know you need a commitment. If he really loves you and wants to keep you in his life, he will make it happen.
My DH would have been comfortable with putting the wedding off until about six months after we moved in together. When I told him I was not OK with waiting, he didn't blink an eye and we were married at the same time we moved in together. It is all good.
I hope things work out for you!
@Andr0meda: I agree, that's a huge committment for you to make without getting married. He should understand your discomfort.
Thanks for responses. It's happened so quickly (the job) it's only now that I'm realising how massive ths is for us. We're excited, and ultimately we want to be together. But I have my insecurities so I will talk to him. These next few months are going to be tough on both of us. Thanks.
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I am feeling so disillusioned with the whole waiting thing.
I was talking with a friend last night and I realised I just don't want to wait anymore. I even talked about getting married right now (even though it's impossible) or eloping. At this moment in time I just don't understand why we're waiting.
As some of you may know SO is moving for work next month (14 hour flight) and we're super excited. I will follow him after I finish uni.
I'm hoping that he proposes before he leaves, I know it sounds silly. And it's not like we don't know it's coming at some point but I think I'd just feel a whole lot happier emigrating if I had a ring on my finger.
Last night I was thinking this: if we stick to the timeline (probably engaged by September) and then potentially have to compromise on a few things anyway because I don't especially want a long engagement. Then why are we not getting hitched now? Part of me thinks I'll miss a big family wedding but ultimately it's about the marriage not a party. I was thinking immediate family only, before September. I've even been browsing venues (here and overseas where his new job is based)
It's all hypothetical, I've not broached a lot of these topics with SO as I've tried to keep the engagement/marriage talk to a minimum. Given the circumstances do you think we should have a talk regarding this? Or do you think I'm panicking a bit? (I don't feel panicked just frustrated) I know it'll be hard with him away, and a visa would be nice. No way do I want to get married for a visa, I don't want to be pressured like that but I wonder if I am feeling so subconsciously?
Oh, I don't know!
Thanks bees!