- Blog
- Bios
- Boards
- Classifieds
- DIY
- Gallery
- Vendor Reviews
- Shop Weddingbee
Weddingbee boards
I am ready to propose! I bought a ring for her and everything...BUT, I am worried about the timing.
She is a Maid of Honor is a wedding in 2010 and the Bachelorette Party is scheduled for July 23-26 (that's next week!). Should I propose before that party or wait until after? I don't want to steal any of the other bride's "glory" at "her" party and everyone be upset with me, ya know?
But, a lot of those girls are good friends with my girlfriend and it would be good for them to all be together too.
Do you see where my dilemma lies??
What advice to the women have for me? Propose soon or wait???
Thanks for your help!
As much as their good friends and it would be nice for her to share the great news, I think after the party would be best! don't steal the brides thunder, your bride can have her own very special day!
congrats, and welcome to wedding bee!
Dresses.jpg (11.5 KB, 19 downloads) 1 year old 
umm...this post makes me happy!! ....I don't really think the bachelorette party should keep you from proposing when you really want to. You have two good points so I think you should just do it when you feel like it is the best moment!
It really depends on how your think your GF will act. Is she the type that needs all the attention on her? Or is she one who like to lavish on others.
I personally think it would be fun if you did it before. The more marriage talk, the better.
Do you know anything about the bride-to-be? Is she the jealous type?
If you are worried about it causing waves, just wait.
If I were the bride, and my MOH got engaged right before my bachelorette, I'd be THRILLED! (Other single gals attending might be a tad jealous, though!) ;)
Wow! A groom to be knows about weddingbee I am impressed! Thats really nice of you to think of that actually about not stealing the other brides "thunder" to be honest I say wait till after the bach weekend because then when your girl shows off her ring/tells everyone it can be all about her and she wont have to worry about making her friend feel bad either. You dont wanna steal your future fiance's thunder either!!
wedding_dress_2_006.JPG (2570.2 KB, 29 downloads) 1 year old wedding_dress_2_008.JPG (2730 KB, 25 downloads) 1 year old 
I'd probably wait. It's really fun for newly-engaged girls to tell their friends all about it; that's part of the fun. But she would probably have a hard time not doing that at the bachelorette party... I know I would! Congratulations and I am loving your handle!
IMG_7591.jpg (2043.5 KB, 17 downloads) 1 year old IMG_1310.jpg (4439.5 KB, 16 downloads) 1 year old
As somebody who was proposed to in the exact same situation you're describing, I would wait. It was really thoughtful of my guy to try to plan it around a time I'd be with my friends, but it made it a little awkward since I had to try the whole time not to steal my friend's thunder, you know? Wait for a time when all the celebration can be focused on your soon-to-be-fiance. Don't wait too long, though. She can send them pictures. :)
I would wait. I am speaking from personal experience. Both my sister and my dad were engaged within months of me. I am not the type that needs attention, however there were several times when I was hurt by them stealing my thunder.
I had a friend who was proposed to four days before our other friends bachelorette ... it was FINE! The bachelorette was just so happy and giddy that she was able to celebrate herself as well as the newly engaged friend --- it was also *my* birthday that day and she had the whole group sing happy birthday to me when the dessert came out, it was so wonderful that she was so happy that she was able to be happy for other people.
With that said, I agree with another poster who asked if you know the bachelorette, is she the kind who wouldnt be so gracious? Then I'd wait ... but if you think your girlfriend/soon-tob-be-fiance can be somewhat low key about it, then it would be so fun for her to have all her friends be able to see her so soon after!
Good luck - either way, it'll be perfect!
I would wait if you can but if the stars align and it's the perfect moment, do it! Or if you think the bride can keep a secret, call her and get her opinion.
I really think you should just wait. Women can be like tigers when it comes to wedding stuff! lol.
However, even if you do wait until AFTER, the bride still might be dissappointed, because her spotlight will officially be on your fiance!
I know, its really silly. Women can be silly...as can men, but we're not talking about that right now. We're talking about women only.
Another option is to propose NOW. Like, now, now, as in today. You still have two weeks before her wedding. If you don't do it today, then DEFINITELY wait.
if you're ready to propose, i think you can do so beforehand, and then your fiancee can decide whether or not to break the news to her friends at the party or wait until afterwards. she might be able to gauge the other bride's possible reaction better!
good luck, and congrats!
That seems kind of early to have a bachelorette party...I say propose when you want! If they are her good friends they will be excited for her and not be mad that she "stole the other brides thunder." I know if it was my friend who got engaged prior to my bachelorette party I would just be excited for her!!! That is so nice that you are taking her friend's feelings into consideration though!
I'm pretty laid back, so it wouldn't bother me if I found out one of my bridesmaids had just gotten engaged at the time of my bachelorette party. In fact, I think it might be kind of a fun way to celebrate. When I got engaged, we were OOT, so I wasn't able to see any of my friends for a week or two later.
Wow, I'm so excited for you! Whatever you decide to do, will you come back to let us know how it goes? We LOVE proposal stories around here!!
I'd say wait until the party. If you're thinking about your gf being with her friends to tell her engagement, you can arrange an engagement party.
But it also depends on her friends, If you think It's ok with them to share each others thunder, then I'd say go for it.
Mr Frenchie wait for all kinds of things to happen w/ my friends before he proposed... he even waiting until after his BFF's wedding. I don't thin any of my friends would have been upset if we were engaged during their wedding or the same time they were engaged. As a bride who had to wait and wait and wait, I say don't put it off any longer :)
@tessabella76 - I agree! When in doubt call the bride! She may say it's not an issue to be nice so listen close to her tone! :) I also agree that if the stars align and the moment is perfect then don't wait! Another perfect moment might not come along for awhile. I think the Bride to be would appreciate that you're conscience of not stealing her thunder! :)
Am i the only one who is wondering why on earth her b-party is next weekend when her wedding isn't until NEXT YEAR? While I agree that since the party is this coming weekend, there shouldn't be a big issue to just wait until after. However, under no circumstances should you be obligated to wait until after the wedding. It's just too far away to put your life on hold.
After the party... otherwise it would take the spotlight from the bride-to-bes bachlorette party
Oh ya... Tanya123 - I was wondering the same thing. Seems pretty early for a bachlorette party...
I say do it now, unless you know that the bachelorette is the type to be annoyed by someone "stealing her show."
I hate the old "stealing my thunder" routine. If they are good friends, they will have a blast at the bach and her friends will no doubt want to share in the GROUP happiness and see her ring, etc.
Plus the bach is like 2 wks away. My bach is this weekend and if a friend got engaged today/tomorrow, I'd be psyched. Who cares?
Apparently my FI was going to wait a few extra days to proposed but ended up popping the question a few days early because he knew I was having a girls night and everyone would want to talk about it : )
And ps I dont get the summer 2009 bach for a 2010 wedding either!
I'd LOVE it if this happened to one of my best friends!! I'd definitely say do it now!! We are older and it seems strange to be thinking of marriage when they are not. I'd love to plan it with them!!
ETA did you mean bridesmaid's party where they get together and discuss things about the upcoming wedding like what dress to wear, etc?
I'm sorry, I do not get the "stealing the bride's thunder thing". Unless you're planning to have the DJ turn the spotlight on you and get down on one knee to propose at the reception...or unless you and your GF are planning to show up in a tux and white dress and ask the officiant for a 'two-fer' I just don't think another person's timeline should dictate your own. Presumably your GF would not be so insensitive as to spend her friend's entire Bach party talking about her own engagement and wedding. So propose when you want to. I'm sorry, I'm a bride-to-be and I don't get this whole "I get a month" thing...so I just wanted to put my own opinion out there.
I'm so excited for you! Be sure to let us know how it goes today!!! :)
I did it!!! She was VERY shocked too...it was perfect. And of course, she said yes!! I took her to a very sentimental place and she loves the ring too!!
Thanks!
dress2.jpg (930.6 KB, 35 downloads) 1 year old 
OH, i had just written a post saying you should do it, then refreshed the page and saw you did! HOORAY! Congrats. Here's what I had written below:
I think it's fine! If your GF is worried that her friends (or the bride) will be upset about thunder stealing, she can leave the ring at home with you. If her friends are true friends, they will be nothing but happy. All she can do is tell them how you proposed, beam, and direct attention back to the bride! I mean, a whole weekend all about one person is a lot, trust me. I got to see some of my friends' rings for the first time at my parties AND at my wedding, and I was just as psyched to see it on their fingers! It's not like we talked about their wedding, we just oohed and ahhed. I was just as psyched for them!
Yay!!! I'm so excited for both of you!! Congratulations! Enjoy this exciting time!!
Did you choose the ring all on your own, or did you pick it out together?
AWWW get this girl on wedding window STAT so we can tell her what a GREAT fiance she has!
You must log in to post.
| Visit our sister sites | eHarmony Online Dating |
eHarmony Advice Dating Advice |
Project Wedding Wedding Songs |
JustMommies Pregnancy Calendar |
Create the honeymoon of your dreams.
| User | Posts Today |
|---|---|
| Gemstone | 19 |
| Rojocameo | 16 |
| Rivendeler | 15 |
| kat2014 | 13 |
| fivemonthsnotice | 12 |
| couawilou | 11 |
| bookworm88 | 10 |
| aussiebee | 9 |
| lionskitty | 9 |
| Suikerbossie | 9 |
| User | Posts Today |
|---|---|
| fivemonthsnotice | 6 |
| beargoose | 5 |
| CaliHoya | 5 |
| ellisrobertson | 5 |
| Mrs. Meowerson | 4 |
| stardustintheeyes | 4 |
| hisgoosiegirl | 4 |
| DaneLady | 4 |
| Otulyssa | 4 |
| BetterSherm | 4 |
