(Closed) Should I put the future in laws on the invitation?

posted 6 years ago in Paper
  • poll: Should I leave "Son of Mr. & Mrs."
    Lose it! : (7 votes)
    25 %
    Keep it in. : (20 votes)
    71 %
    Other (Please comment) : (1 votes)
    4 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    5978 posts
    Bee Keeper

    So, my ILs didn’t help with any of the wedding. We worded our invitations exactly the way you are b/c I respect them for bringing up the wonderful man I was about to marry. I felt that whether they contributed or not, they’re still his parents, and I do like them. So they deserved to be mentioned in the invitation.

    Post # 4
    Member
    12821 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I think the son of part is fine, because it doesn’t name them as hosts (where host = financiers of the wedding, generally).  We’re doing the same thing, actually.

    Post # 5
    Member
    1577 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    This might be a good opportunity to revisit their offer.  Can you bring it up in conversation?

    I know both my parents & FI’s Mom contibuted to our wedding; I offered if they wanted to be included on our invitations and both declined. 

    Post # 7
    Member
    224 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: April 2012 - Padua Hills Theater

    We included my in laws names on our invitations. We did the same wording, son of Mr. & Mrs. My parents contributed to the wedding while his parents did the rehearsal dinner. It felt right for us to include them on the invitation, but it’s really up to you. I personally like seeing both sets of parents on the invitation.

    Post # 8
    Member
    989 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I admit it, I included my ILs on the invitation to score some brownie points.  It was easy because there were no politics involved – we’re paying for 85% of the wedding ourselves and our parents contributed relatively equal shares of the remaining amount.  It might have been different if my parents had been covering the entire thing and wanted to have only their names on the invitation to reflect their status as hosts, but that wasn’t the case.

    I would keep the “son of” language unless there’s some affirmative reason not to, outside of their not contributing so far.  It’s a really nice way to honor them, and I’m sure they won’t forget it.  There’s still plenty of time for them to help anyway.

    Post # 9
    Member
    421 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    Thats what we did on ours. his parents appriciated the gesture 🙂

    Post # 10
    Member
    2282 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    Son of is fine, especially if you’re doing the huge guest list with distant friends of his parents who won’t immediately recognize his name by itself. Just dont’ list them as hosts, since they’re not.

    Post # 11
    Member
    310 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    Hmmm…Difficult b/c they said they’d help.  We didn’t put parents on the wedding invites.  His parents didn’t help at ALL and my dad didn’t help until way after the invites went out.  We were on our own so we were the ones throwing the party. I like the “son of” part.  It’ll list them but not as contributors in terms of financially helping

    Post # 12
    Member
    1061 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: December 2011

    My parents were 100% hosting.  I asked them what they would prefer and they insisted that it say Mr. and Mrs. SmilesParents and Mr. and Mrs. DH’s parents invite you…  They thought both sets of parents should be referenced and didn’t feel the need to “announce” that they were the only ones contributing.

    Post # 13
    Member
    1765 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    My FI’s dad (his mother passed away) was not listed on the invitation. He’s not helping out with the wedding, but FI also really doesn’t have a good relationship with him. If FI felt differently about his dad, I would have included him on the invite. I think it’s a good idea to ask them and your FI how they feel about it!

    Post # 14
    Member
    887 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: March 2010

    I think we did “Together with their families, ____ and _____ invite you…” because we didn’t know who was going to actually contribute. Are your parents paying for it all then? Will they care if you list the in laws?

    Post # 16
    Member
    3618 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2011

    Same situation happened to us. ILs offered to help, but never did. My plan was to just put “son of” but my mom (who at first was livid I would put their name on it at all since only my parents were helping at that point) said I should just put both parents as equals. Just to keep it fair and not start drama. I agreed and kept the peace.

    For the record, I think “son of” is perfectly acceptable. But I guess it depends on your ILs, are they the type to be offended easily?

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