Post # 1
I am trying to decide something and I would like everyone’s opinion. I am just about to order my invitations and I am trying to decide if I should put my FI’s parents on the invitation. At the beginning of our engagement they mentioned they are going to “Help us out” they haven’t mentioned anything about help in about 6 months. I am beginning to think that saying they will help out is just words, that won’t turn into actions.
I was originally going to have the invites say “Mr and Mrs Brides Parents invite you to witness the marriage of their daughter Bride to Groom Son of Mr. and Mrs. Grooms Parents.” Should I keep “Son of” or should I omit it?
Post # 3
So, my ILs didn’t help with any of the wedding. We worded our invitations exactly the way you are b/c I respect them for bringing up the wonderful man I was about to marry. I felt that whether they contributed or not, they’re still his parents, and I do like them. So they deserved to be mentioned in the invitation.
Post # 4
I think the son of part is fine, because it doesn’t name them as hosts (where host = financiers of the wedding, generally). We’re doing the same thing, actually.
Post # 5
This might be a good opportunity to revisit their offer. Can you bring it up in conversation?
I know both my parents & FI’s Mom contibuted to our wedding; I offered if they wanted to be included on our invitations and both declined.
Post # 6
I like the idea of asking if they would like to be included on the invitation or not. I am going to see them tonight, I will ask them then.
Post # 7
- Wedding: April 2012 - Padua Hills Theater
We included my in laws names on our invitations. We did the same wording, son of Mr. & Mrs. My parents contributed to the wedding while his parents did the rehearsal dinner. It felt right for us to include them on the invitation, but it’s really up to you. I personally like seeing both sets of parents on the invitation.
Post # 8
I admit it, I included my ILs on the invitation to score some brownie points. It was easy because there were no politics involved – we’re paying for 85% of the wedding ourselves and our parents contributed relatively equal shares of the remaining amount. It might have been different if my parents had been covering the entire thing and wanted to have only their names on the invitation to reflect their status as hosts, but that wasn’t the case.
I would keep the “son of” language unless there’s some affirmative reason not to, outside of their not contributing so far. It’s a really nice way to honor them, and I’m sure they won’t forget it. There’s still plenty of time for them to help anyway.
Post # 9
Thats what we did on ours. his parents appriciated the gesture 🙂
Post # 10
Son of is fine, especially if you’re doing the huge guest list with distant friends of his parents who won’t immediately recognize his name by itself. Just dont’ list them as hosts, since they’re not.
Post # 11
Hmmm…Difficult b/c they said they’d help. We didn’t put parents on the wedding invites. His parents didn’t help at ALL and my dad didn’t help until way after the invites went out. We were on our own so we were the ones throwing the party. I like the “son of” part. It’ll list them but not as contributors in terms of financially helping
Post # 12
My parents were 100% hosting. I asked them what they would prefer and they insisted that it say Mr. and Mrs. SmilesParents and Mr. and Mrs. DH’s parents invite you… They thought both sets of parents should be referenced and didn’t feel the need to “announce” that they were the only ones contributing.
Post # 13
My FI’s dad (his mother passed away) was not listed on the invitation. He’s not helping out with the wedding, but FI also really doesn’t have a good relationship with him. If FI felt differently about his dad, I would have included him on the invite. I think it’s a good idea to ask them and your FI how they feel about it!
Post # 14
I think we did “Together with their families, ____ and _____ invite you…” because we didn’t know who was going to actually contribute. Are your parents paying for it all then? Will they care if you list the in laws?
Post # 15
Thank you everyone for your responses.
No my parent’s are not paying for the entire wedding. They are paying for about 20% but I really like the “Mr & Mrs Bride parents invite you….” wording, that is why I am using it.
Post # 16
Same situation happened to us. ILs offered to help, but never did. My plan was to just put “son of” but my mom (who at first was livid I would put their name on it at all since only my parents were helping at that point) said I should just put both parents as equals. Just to keep it fair and not start drama. I agreed and kept the peace.
For the record, I think “son of” is perfectly acceptable. But I guess it depends on your ILs, are they the type to be offended easily?