Should I quit or stay?

posted 2 years ago in College
Post # 2
Member
6525 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

HoneyV:  Do you know what you want to do instead of illustration? If so, switch majors. Don’t continue if you are unhappy.

you should not worry about your relatives approval. Ive been through this with my mother. No matter what I do. Nothing is good enough and after years of fighting, crying, and therapy, I have come to the realization that this is MY life and I need to do what will make ME happy. Its easier said than done. It has taken me almost my whole life to get to a point where I don’t care if my mother doesnt approve. But now, I am happy. 

Post # 3
Member
579 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

HoneyV:  I would suggest deciding what you want to do and switching to that. Studying what you enjoy is a wonderful feeling. It makes you want to learn.

However, you say you are going to pay back your relatives and the government as soon as you start working followed by “Even if I were to graduate, I would be moving right after to another country and be married and be a housewife.” I am just wondering how that will work out of interest?

Post # 4
Member
3136 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Honestly, for your health and well being I say quit. Get a part time job. Become a nanny or baby sitter. The stress is making you ill. You have overly critical patents who, let’s face it, won’t be satisfied with anything  you do. They have a very skewed and incorrect view of how to live life joyfully. Stop worrying about what they think of you and accept that their opinion will never be ideal. You need to rid yourself of negativity. They feed your stress and anxiety. Not what loved ones should do. Please, cut yourself some slack. Stop making yourself sick for the benefit of people who will never appreciate your efforts. Live life joyfully. Figure out what will make you happy. Then fuck the rest of the world and do that. Hope you find peace, sweetie. You deserve it.

Post # 5
Member
2017 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

 

HoneyV:  Wow this a tough spot to be in… My sister graduated college with a degree in illustration May 2013 and still hasn’t found a job so I know this market is tough. You’ve done a lot of time in college to not come out with something, is there a way you can finish in one or two semesters? Like another degree you can transfer all your credits to just to be able to graduate? I know you said you won’t be using the degree but it is still useful to have one, plus when your kids get older they’ll want to know and studies have shown parents who have degrees have children that are more likely to surpass their parents education. That will be necessary by the time your children are adults.

Are you on any anti-depressants? Perhaps refocus your school goal and see a doc about anti-depressants to help get you through. Good luck to you, I hope things work out smoothly.

I really do think you should finish a degree though, what happens if your future husband and sole provider for your family dies suddenly and you’re stuck having to get a job and pay off your student/family loans? Without a degree you’ll be way behind the curve.

Post # 7
Member
579 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

HoneyV:  My view is as long as you will pay them back do what you want. However, i would get some kind of qualification and work at least part time, purely because heaven forbid something happens and you need to work at least you have experience and a qualification.

Post # 10
Member
3695 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

HoneyV:  I think it would be a shame to come this close to finishing and leave with nothing but student loans. Can you take a semester off for medical leave? Spend the semester working on your mental health, get professional help for your depression? Maybe then you could get your mental health under control and get the motivation to just tough it out and finish the degree?

Even though you are planning to be a housewife, I think it helps to have a contingency plan, in case something happens where you need to get a job. Even as a housewife, your degree could help if you decide to take on side projects like teaching a children’s art class or illustrating/writing a children’s book. 

Post # 12
Member
579 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

HoneyV:  My suggestion to focus on one field for your future work. I mean field generally. You want to try keep a stable long term part time job. Experience becomes viewed as outdated very quickly. If it isn’t within the last 5 years people ask questions. If it isn’t within the last 10 people consider your experience to be out of date and hence almost non-existant. I am not trying to be mean, it is just that a friend recently lost her husband unexpectedly so I know that sometimes life doesn’t give us what we expect and had she not been working, life would be much much mroe difficult right now.

Post # 14
Member
2791 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015 - Walnut Hill Bed & Breakfast

I think it’s a real shame to get that far into it and spend that much money on the education and not walk out with a diploma. Just the diploma alone (no matter what it’s for) will help increase your employability. Many people will see that you didn’t graduate as a “red flag”. It’s unfortunate but I think that will be the case for most professional-level jobs you might be looking for. 

I would talk to your advisor and find the bare-minimum route to graduation. Is there a similar degree that most of your credits will transfer to? What are the minimum classes you need to take just to finish? I would look into that and really consider doing it that way. Finishing with a degree will always look better than quitting. People will always see your education on your resume and ask why you didn’t graduate and when you’re planning on finishing. 

Why did you originally choose illustration? What is it that you no longer like about it? Surely you loved it at some point – that’s why you choose it.

Would you enjoy illustrating childrens books? Selling drawings/art on etsy or at craft shows? greeting cards? calendars? stationary? working as a free-lance illustrator? teaching art classes? 

I understand that you want to be a full time stay at home mom, but i don’t think you can plan your whole life around that – yet. You have to consider the worst-case scenarios too.  You might have trouble having children. Do you plan on trying right away? What do you plan on duing until then? What willl you do when the kids go to schoo/college/move outl? What if your husband leaves/dies and you need to support your family on your own? I know it sucks thinking about those things, but it’s always a possibilty and needs to be at least considered. Better to have a plan for nothing than not have one and need it. 

  • This reply was modified 2 years ago by  amberback.
Post # 15
Member
2017 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

 

HoneyV:  United States, near Washington DC so we aren’t rural so you would think she’d have more luck.

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