- 6 years ago
- Wedding: November 2011
Umm I think how long ago this was makes a difference. I don’t really see anything you have to apologize for and he may not even still have your work of it was some time ago.
You’re not the one that needs to be apologizing. But if it makes you feel better, write the letter that your therapist suggested, and then rip it/burn it, do what you have to do.
This seems like a perfect opportunity to write a “burn letter”. Get all of your thoughts out on paper and then burn it. I do not think you will gain anything by sending him an actual letter. What would you hope to accomplish? I doubt he still has your old assignments, and something about this whole story seems off. High school teachers shouldn’t be friends with students, they definitely shouldn’t be sharing personal health information with other students, and the whole grade thing doesn’t make any sense at all- why would he lie to the administrators about your incomplete assignments when they could easily look up that information? Either he grossly abused the student-teacher relationship, or there is more to this story. Either way, I don’t think digging up the past is the way to go in this situation.
what sort of time frame did this all happen? meaning the breach in confidence, you being questioned by school admin and the last time you saw him you were OD’ing on meds? if hes got stuff going back to the 60’s, is he elderly?
yes, write the letter by all means but i wouldnt send it – i mean you were emotionally in a bad place back then so maybe its not all as you recall. NOT saying you are lying but its seems very confusing. teachers shouldnt be “friends” with students so maybe he was way over his head with your health issues and he was also in a difficult place
i think you should discuss this further with your therapist as she is privy to all the details
@paperumbrella: Yes, now that I look back on it, he wasn’t a good teacher. He would let some kids use their class time to go smoke or get food. He DID abuse his relationships. Why would he lie? I don’t know, that’s why I want to talk to him. I want to find out why he did what he did and if he will take any responsibility for it. By the way, he did get in trouble for his actions. Hope this helps you understand, and thank you for your response! 🙂
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