Post # 1
Should I REALLY remain quiet bees?
For that simple fact that my SO has had the ring for almost a month (27 days today). Is that not insane? I’ve been quiet this long to try to allow him to do his thing but now it’s getting old. Our 4 year anniversary was a about 2 weeks ago. Being that it was mid week and we both work and didn’t see each other that day he took me out to dinner at this new nice restaurant that weekend. GREAT! I’m thinking surely he will do it now. NOT! I was soooo mad but I’m really proud that I did not say anything to him about it at all.
I’m not sure what the hold up is now but I’m getting really frustrated. It’s not Sunday and nothing happened this weekend either. I did have dental work done yesterday so I was in pain but still. Come on SO really??? I don’t want to say anything to pressure him but at the same time I don’t want to stay quiet and allow him to wait more weeks. My bday is in two months but that is just too far away. He and I discussed even before the ring getting married in March. I don’t even think that he’s taking that into consideration. Which frustrates me more because we’ve talked about dates. I let him have the final word with March (I just said Spring or Summer). He said Spring–the sooner the better. Which I agree with totally now after pondering on it. Then he said we both like March so lets do it then. Those were his words. So I’m confused?
I don’t really need an extravagant proposal ladies. It’s not about that for me. Is he trying to build the eiffel tower in the yard to propose? Uggh!
One thought is to keep quiet and let him do his thing so that he can still have the “surprise” factor which I know is somewhat what he wants. But REALLY??? Who in this day and age really has the “surprise” factor anymore. Couples typically discuss these things, as we have done, so it’s not really a surprise. And if I do this I’m thinking that I will be so mad that he waited so long and we won’t get the date(s) we want. We’re doing a Destination Wedding so people need time to plan.
Another thought is that I say something and he realizes that I’m right it needs to happen soon because of our mutual plan. Then he does it and I feel bad later because I had to “explain” to him why it should be done now or immediately.
So bees either way I’m screwed. Damned if I do..and Damned if I don’t!!!! I know I’m being a brat right now but I’m trying to let it all out. Sorry bees just needed to vent. So thank you. And a little advice is greatly appreciated. Should I not say anything although it’s been nearly a month? Would you ladies honestly keep quiet if it were you?
Post # 3
Be patient and let him do this his way. You know it is coming, so why are you in such a hurry? The last thing you want is to push him to your timeline. You may make him feel like less of a man if you bully or manipulate him into proposing. On another note, even though you are expecting it, you will still feel that surprising thrill if you don’t know the exact moment it is coming. It is the most amazing feeling to know that he proposed because he could not wait one more minute for you to be his wife, and not because you gave him the “get on with it already” attitude. In his head, he wants this to be the most amazing and wonderful day of your life. When a man loves a woman, all he wants is to make her happy, don’t take that from him. The day will come, I promise, and it will be so much sweeter that you waited patiently.
Congrats on your impending engagement!
Post # 4
Congrats on the (soon to be) engagement.
If you’re wanting him to speed up so you can start booking for March, maybe just say to him that even though he hasn’t officially proposed yet, you know he wants March, so you need to start making the arrangements now. (I wouldn’t mention the ring at all, or try to hurry the “proposal.”)
Post # 5
Just be patient it WILL happen. When my fiance proposed he confessed he had had the ring for around 3 months. I didn’t know for sure he was proposing & had no clue he had a ring. He had a special proposal planned so ur Boyfriend or Best Friend probably has something in mind.
Post # 6
Yes, keep quiet and be patient. You have no idea what he has planned, and it WILL happen. BUT, I would stop making wedding plans until you have that ring on your finger. If he tries talking about dates again, just say that you’re not totally comfortable planning without being actually engaged. That might speed things along.
Post # 7
Thank you ladies! And @Bellagiobride: I really appreciate your words I needed that. No rush. I guess it was just hard to have my hopes up for something (March 2012) when he was so gunho about it then not have it happen. And to see the time between now and then get shorter it’s kind of frustrating that’s all. Even though it’s not the end of the world; It’s like telling a kid that they’re going to an amusement park on this weekend and then crush it at the last minute, that’s all. The last time we discussed anything (planning wise) though was January (because of him) so I definitely am not planning without the ring.
Post # 8
I agree with the bees that he has a plan in mind so don’t say anything! I also agree with @babylou: thatif he says anything else about March, remind him that arrangements need to be made and soon and that you don’t want to plan until he has proposed. Guys normally don’t realize all the time and work that goes into planning a wedding so he is waiting to give you the ring. fingers crossed that it happens soon!
Post # 9
This may sound odd, but once I knew the ring was in the house I was somehow able to relax. I don’t know, I guess just knowing that is was really going to happen and the ring was nearby was enough.
Try to chill and that ring will be on your finger before you know it:)
Post # 10
YES. Remain quiet! This is his special moment too. Let him have it.
You know he has the ring, be at peace with that information!
Post # 11
I agree with the PP – don’t say anything. I know it can be super frustrating, but if he already has the ring, he is going to do it, just on his own time.
Good Luck with waiting and I hope it happens soon for you!
Post # 12
*hugs* I am waiting right along with you
Post # 13
What if you made up some fictional person you work with who just got engaged and she REALLY wanted a February or April, or some time near your date, wedding and how she’s really frustrated that he waited so long because now they have to wait until 2013 to get married. Or say something about how typically people want around a year to plan and now this girl is down to the wire and she’s checked with 100+ reception locations and they are all booked up already so now she doesn’t know what to do.
Post # 14
Congrats on knowing it’s coming soon!
But yeah, I’d keep quiet about it. If he didn’t mean it, he would have never ponied up the cash to buy the ring, so the part to worry about is over. You know it IS going to happen. He’s probably just taking his time to figure out the absolute perfect way to ask. If you bug him about it, you risk cheating yourself out of something really special.
If he still hasnt made any moves toward it after ANOTHER month, though, I’d do as MsBrooklynA suggests.