Post # 1
So Its my own fault for getting into this mess! I quickly became friends with a new girl at work, hanging out often, doing lots of couples nights with us and our men. I took a chance by asking this new friend to be a BM because I really saw us being friends for a long time… Thats when it all started to go down hill! My fiance manages a restaurant and hired her bf. (first mistake!) then my FI had to fire her bf! Awkward! So the four of us kinda stopped hanging out… then the friendship between the two of us got better so I just went with it. A month ago she moved into a new house, and still hasnt invited me over to see it! And I just decided to make accept a new job offer, and we have barely talked since we dont work together… On top of everything, she complains about taking time off for bachelorette party and isnt taking time off before the wedding to help out; she complained about the BM dresses (though I gave them a choice of about 10 styles) and also whined that she had to buy shoes when I asked them to wear any pair at all of silver shoes. I dont think Im being Bridezilla, but I just dont know if I see myself being friends with this person long term, and I have anouther friend that I really wish that I had asked instead 🙁 I need you advice ladies! I am getting married at the end of summer, and ordering BM dresses at the end of the month! Very torn on what to do, thanks for the help!
Post # 3
Im so sorry!! I don’t even really know what to do. I think you may just need to have coffee with her and get everything out on the table, then decide from there. She may not want to be a bridesmaid anymore.
Post # 4
I think if you do ask her to step down, you have the possibility of losing her as a friend completely, so you have to consider that risk and evaluate if you would be okay with it.
Has she already bought her dress?
Post # 5
That might be a good idea- talk to her about things. That will help you make a decision either way. Honestly, you should probably find a way to replace her, because it sounds like this is bringing you down. You don’t want drama or discomfort where there need not be any.
Post # 6
I am in the same situation. I became friends with a girl I asked to be my bridesmaid not too long ago and now she has fallen out with me over some childish misunderstanding and refuses to mutually resolve it….
i think i am going to have to ask her to step down too as even after I apologised and asked to meet for coffee to “clear the air” she was still not willing to let things go…. and the matter at hand is so ridiculous!!!
how do you go about asking her to step down? by email? what if she doesn’t want to meet face to face or answer your calls?
like we need this added stress on top of planning everything else!
let me know what you do!!!
Post # 7
i think if you ask her to stand down you will probably lose her as a friend, but maybe you could ask her if she WANTS to step down? when she asks why you would ask that, just tell her that you feel things are not really going the way you had hoped and wondered if it was because she didnt want to be a bridesmaid after all.
if she steps down then all well and good, if she insists she still wants to be a bridesmaid, then maybe this will give her a bit of a nudge. tell her you are upset at her complaining about things, and what can you do to put it right? put the ball in her court…….this may open a can of worms, but better now than later