Post # 1
I need some advice, bees. I will try and make this drama as short as possible.
A bit of backstory: FBIL (C) and his ex-ish-wife(B) have a rocky relationship. They got divorced when he cheated and knocked another lady(A) up. C’s relationship with A didn’t work out and since he had children with B also, B & C decided to try to work it out. B & C never remarried and have had a crappy relationship ever since. It’s doesn’t help that B has aton of issues, health & mental wise. B is not a generally nice or happy person and tends to brng everyone down. B is a very jealous person. C is a groomsman and I asked B to be a bridesmaid to avoid any drama with C walking with another woman.
Now, the new drama: C & B got into a huge fight last night and now they are done, for real this time (supposedly). B called me and said she doesn’t want anything to do with him, so I should count her out of my bridal party. She has already been very wishy washy about being in the wedding the entire time we have been planning. Honestly, I was sort of hoping she would drop out anyways.
My questions: Can I replace her? How soon? And is it rude to remove her from the Bridal Party facebook group?
If you read all that, thanks for hanging in there!!
Post # 3
Anyone you now ask to be a bridesmaid will likely know they were a second string pick. Just have uneven sides
Post # 4
I definitely think you should just go ahead and agree with her…let her drop out of the wedding and make everything easier for everyone. If there’s someone else you want to ask to replace her, than I say go for it. One of my good friends told me she didn’t think it was a good idea for her to be in the bridal party anymore (her husband just went into remission for cancer and they found out his mom now has breast cancer 🙁 Obviously, I completely undertood. I was going to keep the sides odd since I wasn’t worried about it, but then decided to ask another friend. She diddn’t care that I asked her later and didn’t think of it as she was the “replacement”. And if someone would get upset, then its not someone you want anyways 😛 lol
Post # 5
You don’t need to have matched numbers. Bridesmaids are supposed to be picked for their closeness to you, not for a photo op.
I’m sure it won’t make any difference to this woman if you remove her from the FB group or not. It sounds as if she’s got bigger issues to worry about.
Post # 6
@HisToots: wow she sounds like a piece of work! Granted she has gone through a lot with her ex husband it sounds like yikes. I would politely accept her offer. Take her off the groups, tell the other bm’s and follow up with a Facebook message telling her you did as she asked and that you hope to see her at the wedding as a guest. Don’t get pulled into any drama. Its your wedding. Not her personal battle ground.
Post # 7
@HisToots: i don’t think that you need to replace her but i would accept the fact that she wants to step down. who needs that drama at your wedding.
if there is someone close to you that you would like to stand up with you, fine, but i don’t think it’s necessary.
Post # 8
@HisToots: I’d first call her and ask how she feels as you got a call from him. I won’t remove her unless she confirms – she didn’t do anything wrong to you and it’s not her who called you. There will be likely another drama if she wanted to be there and you remove her based on his call.
And unless any of your friend really wants, I wouldn’t pick a new BM. Uneven number is totally fine.
Post # 9
@HisToots: I would say yes you can count her out… i sure she will understand and if she is done with him she wont be stressing about seeing him and them having to get along or ruin your wedding what ever kinda ppl they are i sure they both would be stressing if she was still in the wedding (do remove her form brial party fb stuff so she dosnt get bogged down seeing it)
i would replace her asap and I am very sure that no one will mind being asked now they prob be happy to be part of the day i know i would 😀 good luck sweetie
Post # 10
Thanks for all the advice ladies! I’m totally understanding of her wanting to step down and I am also completely fine with it. I didn’t ask her to be a bridesmaid for a photo-op, I asked her to avoid any drama that would evolve from her SO walking down the aisle with someone else. I know it would have happened, because he was a groomsman in another wedding that she was not a bridesmaid in and it was adramafest all night.
There is someone else that I would love to ask, so I think I will. She won’t mind be asked after the ohter girls, she knows B, too.