Post # 1
There is a couple that we had invited to our wedding. when it came to RSVP-ing they were quite late, but they sent me an email to let me know that while they were sorry about their late reply they would definitely be coming to our wedding. Well, yesterday – which is three days away from the wedding – I got an e-mail saying,
“We aren’t going to make it on Saturday but congratulations!”
No reason why, no apology for the late notice, no nothing. I really find this a bit rude, because I really don’t think it’s anything sudden that has come up – they could have let me know awhile ago they weren’t coming (I only just made the final payment and headcount on Sunday) and I wouldn’t have had to pay the money for them. FI thinks I should e-mail them back saying we’re sorry they can’t come, but I really just don’t want to say anything because I find this so rude.
What should I do?
Post # 3
@adnama: I would respond. I would respond in a “nice” way about how you’re so sorry they can’t make it and that since the headcount is already in, should they change their mind, to let you know because their spots at the tables will now be empty and waiting for them. This way, they know what they did was wrong without you giving them a lecture about it.
Post # 4
@adnama: I would say let it go. Since you probably already turned in your final counts to your venue/caterer, do you have some single friends that may want to bring a date? At least then someone is there to eat the food you paid for. But this seriously sucks in general. I would just really try to ignore it. I bet you won’t even think of it on your wedding day. Hang in there!
Post # 5
What I would like to reply:
“What a shame you won’t be able to attend the wedding. I hope everything is alright seeing as how you made a last-minute decision not to come. Wish we could have known sooner so we wouldn’t be wasting food but unpredictable events do happen.”
Post # 6
@futuremrsk18: has the answer I would use. A little passive aggressive but…
Post # 7
I wouldn’t respond because at this point, why add anything else to your plate? It sucks that they did this to you so close to the wedding, but nothing you say is going to make you feel any better or change the outcome (and truthfully, they don’t deserve a reply and probably don’t expect one given the late notice).
Post # 8
@futuremrsk18: I like this answer – it can come across as friendly but still lets them know late notice isnt’ cool.
Post # 9
Nah, just let it go and hope for a check in the mail. And if that doesn’t come, just try to move on anyway 🙁
Post # 10
Wow, that stinks.
I know I probably shouldn’t do this, but I would be very strongly tempted to tweak BayStateBride’s response to something like this:
“What a shame you won’t be able to attend the wedding. I hope everything is alright seeing as how you made a last-minute decision not to come. We do have a number of other friends we were unable to include in our head count – we will try to see if maybe some of them will be able to attend in your place. Enjoy your Saturday!”
Post # 11
I’m available on Saturday!
Have a wonderful wedding adnama! I wouldn’t even reply.
Post # 12
I had people do this to me after we gave the venue the final head count. I do find it to be extremely rude. One of the people that did it to me was a cousin who was actually in the midst of planning her own wedding – you’d think she’d know better. Her excuse was that she was having a stressful work week that week. I think I just said, “Ok, thanks for letting me know,” or something like that. Yeah I was a little bit too put off to say more than that.
Post # 13
@futuremrsk18: I would do the same thing…
Post # 15
I think many of these responses will make you look passive aggressive and petty. You don’t have to respond to the email at all.
Post # 16
I would let it go, or just say, “Thanks for letting us know.” But how rude and inconsiderate! So sorry that happened to you.