Post # 1
We got married almost three weeks ago. Two weeks after the wedding was my birthday. I asked a friend (who attended the wedding) if she wanted to join us in the evening for a low-key night at our place. For the week before my birthday it was “up in the air” if she could make it.
Day of my birthday I still didn’t have confirmation and asked (via text) if she was going to make it. She text back essentially said I was absolutely selfish and only contacted her when it was convienent for me.
Perhaps true lately with wedding planning, but the timing of her outburst and imaturity of relaying this to me via text and not face to face or on the telephone really set me off. As a result, I am not interested in continuing our friendship anymore.
Should I return her gift? (money)
Post # 4
My thought is to cool it. If you can admit this is partially true with the wedding planning lately, why are you mad at her for feeling that way, at least she waited until after the wedding to let it out and didnt stress you out before hand. Regarding the gift, I really dont know what to do about that if you were to end the friendship. Seems you both are overreacting.
Post # 5
@wedinbos: Unless there is more to this story, I would talk to your friend and work out the problem. Seems like a silly reason to end the friendship.
Post # 6
Seems like a really silly thing to end a friendship over. Sometimes when we are planning we become so consumed that we lose perspective about what is going on around us. She may just be hurt. Could she have handled it better? Sure. Do we always handle things logically when we are upset? No.
If she really is your friend, I would reach out and apologize & explain things. Be the bigger person. I can’t imagine dropping a friendship for something so petty.
Post # 7
Forget the gift and try to work this out with your friend. Try to see it from her point of view and honestly everyone has a bad day once in a while so you can’t just defriend her for one insensitive comment. If she’s a good enough friend to attend your wedding, give you a generous wedding gift and even be invited to your bday celebration in the first place I think you owe her at least that.
Post # 8
If it were a good friend of mine, I’d apologyze even if I’d done nothing wrong and then try to figure out what was really making my friend hurt and lash out.
Post # 9
I agree with PPs. Talk to her instead of juist giving up on her imediately.
Post # 10
Cool off first. See if you feel ready to continue the friendship. If you do, then do so. Keep the money.
Post # 11
She gave you the gift as just that..a gift. It’d be weird to return it in my opinion…It would just be a blatant sign that you don’t want to be friends! And honestly, maybe the bees before me are right; talk to her about it. She could just be feeling left out since you’re all happily hitched and now around much anymore 🙂