(Closed) Should I sacrifice destination wedding for grandma?

posted 5 years ago in Rings
Post # 3
Member
1079 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@jessiebean:  I’m curious as to how you are going to get your wheelchair bound grandmother onto the beach for the ceremony?  Is there any chance you can choose a location that is more accessable for your grandmother but still gives you the destination wedding you would like?

Post # 4
Member
5243 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

@jessiebean:  I dont have any grandparents left but fiance has two left. They will not be able to come to our destination wedding because his grandfather is too old and not well enough to travel. We will be having a ceremony here and legally get married in our home town before the destination so they are able to see us get married (he is the only grandchild so we HAD to do it out of respect for them) We are also having a very small family dinner that they wil attend also.

Post # 6
Member
14311 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

No matter how many doctors you have on hand, you dont have the equipment a hospital has if you need it in a jiffy.  If her health is really that bad that she is scared, do you really want her to be 7 hrs from a hospital if the worse case senario happens.  You think it’ll be fine, but god forbid something happens, can you forgive yourself for choosing your wedding location over the best situation for your grandma? 

Post # 7
Member
993 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

If you are genuinely concerned for her health and care to have her there you will have to make another choice.  Is there any other beach with a hospital close by that she wouldn’t have to travel as far to?  What about having a local ceremony and renewal with just the two of you on the beach?  That’s quite a trip for Grandma, I would think it would be very stressful for her and the rest of your family who would be taking care of her.

What I’m learning in all this is that the wedding is for your guests and what is the most comfortable and enjoyable to them.  

Post # 8
Member
4510 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I would go ahead with your wedding as planned, and do something special with your grandma at home. It sounds like she can’t really travel anywhere anyway.

Post # 10
Member
2335 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

Where can she go?  Is her mobility a super limiting factor for anywhere but her hometown?

If you do decide to go with the destination spot, definitely get a good videographer so you can share the wedding with her afterwards.

Post # 11
Member
3082 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

I wouldn’t do the destination wedding. But that’s just me.

Post # 14
Member
3039 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

It’s not the place that you get married at that makes it special. What makes it special is being able to  make a commitment to someone you love in front of all the people you love.

My mums parents passed away a few years ago….my grandma didn’t get to really meet my FI (she had alzheimer’s)….I really wish she got to meet him and I really wish my grandparents were alive to see me marry the man I love. You are really lucky to have your grandma around for the special day. You will regret it…if she cant be there due to illness. Don’t make her travel and don’t make it hard for your family. I’m a nurse and no matter how many doctors or nurses are around…if we don’t have the special equipment…we are limited to what we can do.

get married at home in front of your grandma and have a beautiful honeymoon in Panama. If you really want to get married on the beach in panama….why don’t you have a little ceremony with just you and hubby on your honeymoon. It will probably be very special and you could come up with some very personal vows and promises to say to eachother.

Post # 15
Member
179 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

@bella128:  “What I’m learning in all this is that the wedding is for your guests and what is the most comfortable and enjoyable to them”

I’m sorry but I beg to differ the wedding isn’t for the guests (maybe the reception is), it’s for the the bride and groom.  In planning process, everyone kept telling me, “It’s not about them, it’s about you and FH.  You can’t make everyone happy.”  I totally agree with them! We had an immediate family only and no children allowed DW.  Husband’s brother and my SIL couldn’t make it because of the kids. At first ppl were upset (other relatives), but in the end they understood.

Post # 16
Member
9234 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

That is way too far to expect your grandma to fly, let alone it being in a remote place.  It’s one thing to take a couple hour flight to NYC in a travel pattern she’s already used to, and it’s another to fly to a remote country.  I assume you’ll have to take a boat or a puddle jumper to the island?  I wouldn’t ask my invalid grandma to do that.

I think you have to choose between having her at your wedding, or doing it at that location.

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