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Should I sell my dress??? Mom thinks its a bad idea...

posted 1 year ago in Emotional
  • 1 Members Subscribed To Topic
  • poll: Would you sell your dress?
    NO WAY!!! i love it too much!!! : (12 votes)
    23 %
    maybe - if it went to someone who needed it... : (6 votes)
    11 %
    sure, its not like im wearing it again... : (27 votes)
    51 %
    heck yeah! its for sale now.... : (8 votes)
    15 %
  •  
    1.
    Member
    2,292 posts
    Buzzing bee
    spaganya    September 4, 2010   Arlington, VA/wedding in Williamsburg, VA

    Well the wedding is over and im organizing everything to sell that i dont want anymore.

    im not really a "sentimental" person when it comes to objects. i kinda like to streamline things - if i dont use it everyday, i get rid of it. things like my bouquet, i actually gave my real bouquet away to my friend who was getting married two weeks later - one of my bridesmaids had a fit and traded her their bouquet so they could dry MY bouquet for me. nice gesture, but i really didnt want it... its just a bunch of flowers.

    same thing with my dress. the dress was rather expensive, and its not like i will ever wear it again. i figured i would sell it to another bride and give it a chance to live again.

    my mom had a fit when i suggested it and seems to think its a bad idea and that i will want it.

    i dont think so - i dont want kids (hubby is even getting the snip snip) and there isnt like a once a year wedding dress party i go to or something, so why keep it??? i mean both my mom and my sister have their dresses just hanging in a closet collecting dust! they arent even preserved or anything. just taking up space. we live in a 1 bedroom apt! i mean this is why we got a top notch photographer and cinematographer - THOSE are the memories i wanted... soo....

    what do yall think?

     
    2.
    Hostess
    5,841 posts
    Bee Keeper
    His Barista    September 4, 2010   Spokane, WA

    sounds like You want to sell it! so do what you want! You're right, it's not like you have a lot of space. = ) And I'm sure there is someone in need who will love it!

     
    3.
    Member
    674 posts
    Busy bee
    Phofe2774    April 7, 2012   CA

    I agree, you probably should sell it. If your mom wants it so bad, maybe she will buy it! Kidding! I will not be keeping my dress either, closet space is a luxury I can not afford to lose. If I do end up having a daughter there is no way my dress will work for her, it will be out dated, old and gross. So, I plan on having a trash the dress photo session, but majorly ruin it, like paint ball or something..... then I will cut out some sections that I can use to make things. A hankie, christening gown, and a pocket square. If I have enough good material I am going to make throw pillows or anything else I can think of that I can enjoy daily. I just think that since I paid a lot of money, or I hope to when I finally buy one, that I should get some use out of it....

     
    4.
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    Helper bee
    anabri09       Austin, TX

    Why keep it when it can make the day of another bride? At least thats my thinking! I dont want mine to sit in a closet when another beautiful bride can have the dress of her dreams!

     
    5.
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    116 posts
    Blushing bee
    wgowood    April 23, 2011   Charlotte, NC

    @spaganya: I understand your mother's sentimental feelings, and that's very sweet.

    However, it seems to me that selling it is exactly what you want to do. Originally, I was planning on keeping mine for our future child, but then I started weighing factors.

    1. Size. No telling if they'll be my size, or bigger.
    2. Style. Will it speak for them the way it did for me? They may have completely different style.

    Honestly, finding the perfect dress is one of the best experiences I've had.

    After weighing things, I realized there are other beautiful things I could save for our child that is far more practical, and just as sentimental. Why save an expensive dress they may not even like?

    *Shrug* I had reasons to keep it and am still deciding to sell it.

    If you think it's going to collect dust, then by all means - give a bride a chance to fall in love with it. :D

     
    6.
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    669 posts
    Busy bee
    njm1313    February 19, 2011   Fort Lauderdale, Florida

    I can definitely understand where you're coming from.  And based on your beliefs, I would agree with you; sell it.

    I'm fighting the same battle (and I haven't even gotten married yet).  But, I try to prevent clutter.  So, I've already began to think about what to do with all this stuff that we've currently dedicated a room to in the house.  lol

    Fact is, youre right, those photos, video, etc will be all the great memories you'll need.  Not unless you plan on making the dress a shrine.  Laughing  Plus, its really cool that you want to sell it to a bride so it can "live again".  Great choice of words!

     

     
    7.
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    817 posts
    Busy bee
    indyJEEP    July 30, 2011   San Francisco, CA

    @spaganya: it sounds like you mostly have your mind made up :)

    I have friends who sold theirs and are perfectly happy with their extra cash and closet space, BUT I also know people who wish they would've held on to theirs. I think it varies from person to person.

    A few weeks ago, my co-worker brought her dress in to work to show me - it's been 32 years since they got married and she's held on to it the whole time. She was SO excited about it and even got a little emotional for a moment while reminiscing.

    I would keep mine, just so I can have that ^^^ reaction some day when I go to show my children/grand kids :0)

     
    8.
    Member
    323 posts
    Helper bee
    CDubyaToCJay    June 18, 2011   California--Wedding In Beaver Creek, CO

    I agree, sale it! Its not something practical and we don't hand down dresses very often anymore, styles change so much. I say if there is LACE on it or a brooch or somthing that you could keep, keep that. I have some lace from my mothers wedding gown that I will incorporate into the wrapping of my bouquet.

     
    9.
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    151 posts
    Blushing bee
    LY1923    April 2, 2011  

    I say sell it.  What are you going to do, let it collect dust and turn yellow in your closet then sell it for less since it won't be in as good condition?

     

    You have to do what you want to do!

     

     

     
    10.
    Member
    1,736 posts
    Bumble bee
    tinylittlebird    June 24, 2011   Indiana

    I seriously just can't understand this whole "Your daughter might want to wear it" thing.... who actually does that anymore?

    I can understand the concept once upon a time- Once upon a time, fashion changed really slowly, and clothing was handmade, and there was lots of ease/seam allowance added so you could take it in/out as needed, and it was commonplace to keep your EVERYDAY clothing forever and just alter it with the change in styles. So it wouldn't have been so far fetched for a young woman (born to a young mother, as was common back then) to be able to alter a dress that was only about 18-20 years old to fit the style, or at least her shape. 

    Nowadays, we live in a world of disposable fashion. The styles change so much more rapidly than they did before, so there is no telling what will be popular when our kids get married. 

    I just don't understand how this tired tradition is still around. Most of OUR mothers didn't wear their mother's dresses, so why do they keep insisting that our daughters will want ours? 

     
    11.
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    2,292 posts
    Buzzing bee
    spaganya    September 4, 2010   Arlington, VA/wedding in Williamsburg, VA

    yeah i think im gonna sell it - i might keep my veil though - there are a few friends of mine that i wouldnt mind using that for their something borrowed or something, and its small so it can go in my trinket box. (well relatively - it folds up small). but the dress? too big, gotta go... LOL

     
    12.
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    2,007 posts
    Buzzing bee
    Belle2Be      

    @wgowood: Just some other ideas, my sister had a tailor alter our mom's wedding dress so it suited her tastes, but was still my moms dress. I've also heard of using the material to make a  christening dress, or to wrap the bouquet in. :D

     
    13.
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    Buzzing bee
    Belle2Be      

    @tinylittlebird: I would've loved to wear my mom's dress, but she didn't keep it :( (or alter it to wear a piece of it, etc.).

    (To clarify the above post, my sister wore my moms dress from her marriage to my sisters father, not to my father).

     
    14.
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    Bumble bee
    Georgia Bee    October 9, 2010   Atlanta

    I am keeping mine, but I am very sentimental.  Twenty years from now, I'll probably look at it and say, "why have I been dragging this thing around for 20 years?" LOL.  If you aren't emotionally attached to it, I would sell it and do something fun with the money.  I agree that a veil is much easier to store and more likely to be used again--they've only changed a little bit over the past 100 years:)

     
    15.
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    5,247 posts
    Bee Keeper
    cbee    July 26, 2010  

    @spaganya: Your dress is so pretty I voted "keep it."  I know it isn't rational at all, but I just love your dress.  (Maybe that is how your mom is feeling.)

    It is up to you.  I have learned to separate myself from things that I have had to sell- but if you don't need the money or something, maybe think about keeping it just in case you change your mind?  Then again if you do not feel too attached, no harm in selling it, right?

    I want to keep mine, but NOT to pressure any children into wearing it.  But just because I love it, it is beautiful and means a lot to me, and just in case someone asks to wear it someday.

     
    16.
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    1,776 posts
    Buzzing bee
    PinkPinstripes    November 2011   Boston, MA

    I'm a sentimental person so I'm definately keeping mine. But if it's not your thing, then sell it!

    My mom saved her dress and I'm using a piece of it in my dress (maybe pinning inside? not sure how yet) as a tradition. Her veil has some beautiful flower lace details that I'm also using so I was really happy she kept hers. If you're not planning on having children, I don't really see a need for it, other than the sentimental reasons.

     
    17.
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    Worker bee
    PepBandLove    December 18, 2010   Omaha, NE

    If that's how you feel, go ahead and sell it. If you aren't that attached to it, I think it would be nice to help another bride out.

     
    18.
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    9,965 posts
    Buzzing
    Beekeeper
    CorgiTales    February 1, 2011  

    I would never sell MY dress because I am sentimental and I hope I do have a daughter at some point who might like to see it. But given what you've said about your situation, I see no reason to keep it. 

     
    19.
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    2,301 posts
    Buzzing bee
    kate169    May 21, 2011   Virginia

    @spaganya: Sell it. If you need the name of a consignment shop in the Wburg area I know two.

     
    20.
    14,581 posts
    Honey
    Beekeeper
    ejs4y8    June 20, 2009  

    If you're not sentimental, sell it.

    My mom rented her wedding dress back in the 80's and says she's never had an "oh i wish i had my dress" moment

     
    21.
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    2,292 posts
    Buzzing bee
    spaganya    September 4, 2010   Arlington, VA/wedding in Williamsburg, VA

    thanks girls! you have made my decision easy. the fact that we are planning on being a child-free couple, and that i dont usually deem things "sentimental" (i keep loads of pics though - im a picture hoarder!) im gonna sell it.

    i plan on taking it to the cleaners today for a good cleaning, and then listing it or finding a consignment shop.

    I am however keeping my veil, and the large scraps from alterations (the bits of lace and some of the satin) in the off chance i have a niece, friend, or something that wants something old to use on her bouquet or something.

    I think it works! lol

     
    22.
    Member
    2,292 posts
    Buzzing bee
    spaganya    September 4, 2010   Arlington, VA/wedding in Williamsburg, VA

    @cbee: and yeah i think my mom's argument is that the dress is so pretty! that and that shes hoping i will change my mind about kids - which i wont. im already up there in the years and have made my mind up :)

     

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