Should I send a card and/or gift?

posted 2 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
8387 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

MsGinkgo:  I think sending a nice card would do the trick.  It shows that you’re thinking of her, but doesn’t draw attention to her not getting you anything.

Post # 3
7915 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

two wrongs dont make a right- send a card. If her guilt pangs her that’s her problem! 

Post # 4
2675 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014 - Madison, WI

If you want to send a card and a gift I would just do it. Don’t base what you want to do on her actions for your wedding. If she feels a little guilty you got her something when she didn’t get you anything that’s not your fault. You are doing something nice which she should appreciate.

Post # 5
6525 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

MsGinkgo:  just send a card, no gift.

Post # 6
1258 posts
Bumble bee

What would you normally do in a situation where you couldn’t attend the wedding?

If you would send a card and a small gift, then do it. As long as it’s coming from a heartfelt place I see no reason why you cannot extend your warm wishes for her wedding. 

Post # 7
3217 posts
Sugar bee

MsGinkgo:  If someone is going to read nefarious intent into a kind gesture then that is their own personal issue.

Send what you like. 

Post # 8
851 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013


MsGinkgo:  I would send a card…… not really sure about the gift.

I had a few friends that were unable to attend my wedding.  I completely understood why they could not attend.  However, none of these friends sent a card.  I really was not expecting a gift, but I really thought a card was appropriate.  I was very hurt that they could not take the time out to get a card (given the vast amount of stores that actually carry cards these days).  Therefore, I make it a point to always send a card for an event that I cannot attend.



Post # 9
3735 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Forget that she didn’t send you anything. Do what your heart tells you is right for this friendship. If sending a card and gift makes you feel good, do it.

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