(Closed) should i send invite when i already know the guest can’t make it?

posted 6 years ago in Paper
Post # 3
5118 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Eh, if it’s a work friend or school friend, I didn’t. But with grandparents or other family that had already said no, we sent out for them because I knew they’d like it on the fridge anyway. I’d base it off the closeness of your relationship. With a work friend, I’d just ask her if she’d like one anyway, seems like a casual relationship.

Post # 3
2854 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Yup. I’ve had some people let me know already, and I told them I would be sending the invite anyway. 

Post # 4
1512 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I’d send one. If nothing else, it would be a physical reminder for them to send you a gift 🙂

Most of our guests most likely won’t be able to come since our families are all in different states. We’re still sending them though!

Post # 5
433 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

In general, I’m sending invites to everyone. But I had one very elderly family member think that the STD was an invite and send me a card saying she couldn’t make the wedding. I feel bad sending her an invite since she already sent me this nice card and I wonder if it will make her think I didn’t get the card saying she couldn’t come. So I think I will pass on sending her the invite. In general, though, I have tons of out-of-state, busy, family members who I am still inviting.

Post # 6
1676 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

If I were a close friend, I’d be hurt if I didn’t get an invite even though I couldn’t be there. 

Post # 7
9029 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I only did that with close friends and family, I knew some of them couldnt make it but it was nice to just send them an invite so they would feel included.

Post # 8
46256 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I would send her an invitation just to reinforce the fact that you wanted her to attend ( not as a physical reminder for a gift- that is no reason to send an invitation.)

Post # 9
71 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

There is no need to send a STD, but still include her in the invite list is my vote.  The formal invite is in a class all its own, and you can tell her once you send them, “I know you told me you couldn’t make it, but I sent you an invitation anyway as a courtesy.”  Besides, you never know what might happen before then!

On the other hand, I don’t intend to send invites to my friends who are deployed.  That seems silly.  So if her prior engagement is something similarly unchangeable, maybe you could just ask her if she’d like one, since you would have liked for her to be there.

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