- 5 years ago
- Wedding: October 2013
im new here so bear with me.
I am getting married in october, 6 wks before one of my bridesmaids. I should have never asked a bride to be a bridesmaid. this girl is so darn stressed out over all of her wedding planning and on top of that has started a second job to pay for everything (she is by no means rich, but has very rich tastes).
I love her to death but she has been non-existent in my wedding planning, life, friendship or anything since she got engaged. I call her and text her all the time and when I finally get her to call me back all she does is complain about everything to do with her wedding. she can’t affford have of the stuff she has planned on and that is driving her nuts. I havent seen her in 3 months yet she works 2 min from my house and drives literally past my house every morning to drop her daughter off at school.
last year she called me all the time and we always were stopping by eachothers houses. Right now i have about 5 coffee mugs of hers in my cabinet from our morning convos that we used to have. For a few months last year I picked up her daughter everyday from school and babysat her for hours (sometimes through dinner time) along with my own kids so that she didnt have to take time off work. as soon as she didnt need me to do that anymore we stopped seeing eachother at all.
fast forward to a few weeks ago. i get a call from her out of the blue one morning inviting me to meet her for coffee. she asked if i could pick her up at 9 so she would have plenty of time to get to work. i thought it was weird that she asked me to pick her up but i just figured we were going to a place near her home (she is about 15 min away from me). when i get there she is in her work uniform. Its not until we are at the coffee shop that she tells me her car is in the shop and can we get the coffee to go because i live closer to where she works. so here i am all excited that she finally wants to get together and it was just so she could get a ride to work!
Its been months since i started wedding planning and she has made no effort to get together. i have sent seperate and numerous invites for coffee or going out for a drink and she doesnt respond or cancels because she is too tired. She did not come bridesmaid dress shopping even though i told her a month in advance, and when i offered to go with her a different time she declined. she has not returned any calls to other maids regarding shower planning, and as our weddings get closer im afraid its gonna get worse
I am starting to feel like a nuisance and an annoyance when i call/text her. On top of that I have to see daily facebook posts of her going out to dinner/lunches with big groups of friends yet she can’t make time for someone who asked for the honor of her being in their wedding.
She had the last 2 days off of work and said nothing. I didn’t hear a peep. On my phone are still 2 texts that have gone unanswered. one inviting her and her fiance over for dinner and the other one asking if she could get coffee on either of her 2 days off (that have passed).
i tried to give her an “opt out” a few weeks ago for stuff like this and she said “of course not, i love you so much!” but now its starting to make me uncomfortable!
She is supposed to call me after work tonight. I am thinking of telling her that I love her dearly but for the sake of our friendship and her sanity (since she is planning her own wedding) i am removing her from the bridal party so that she will not have to stress about my wedding on top of her own (or any financial burdens along with it). I do feel like i am a burden to her now and if she cant even text me back on her 2 days off…
I forgot to mention that my fiance (based on how bothered i have been about it) told me last night he thinks i should fire her..so do the other maids….should i let her go? I don’t see us sitting down and talking since she has blown me off so many times to do that and when i told her my concerns before she just laughed and was like “i love you, ill get my dress soon”