Post # 1
So recently my two very best friends have been drifting away.
Friend #1 – I was Maid/Matron of Honor in her wedding and we have been best friends for close to 4 years now. We literally spent everyday together and called each other about everything. She is going through a rough time with her husband and has been pushing me away. When I ask her if I did something she says no but yet hasn’t said more than a few sentences to me for the past month and a half. She makes time for other new friends though.
Friend #2- We’ve known each other since we were 4 . She’s always been more of a sister than a friend. We really have no common interests or similar hobbies. I always feel like I’m the person that she calls last or I’m the least interesting one for her to hang out with.
Anyway, up until the past month I would have never imagined feeling so alone. I haven’t even begun wedding planning seriously just throwing ideas around. I had planned on 1 being matron of honor and 2 being maid of honor, but now i almost feel like they aren’t treating me like a friend. We’ve always talked about how this would go until recently . Now i feel like I shouldn’t have either of them in my wedding. Am I overreacting? Should I just wait it out?? I would rather know for sure whether I’m going to have them or not because I would like to start seriously planning but I don’t want to seem like I’m being rude if I ask them if they’re even interested in being my friends anymore?? Please help me.
Post # 3
In My Humble Opinion, I think you are overreacting a bit. As brides we sometimes forget that our family and BM’s have lives outside our wedding. They go through personal situations, mood swings, etc. If you loved these women enough to ask them to be in your wedding, then you should love them enough to stick it out.
Is it possible that it is difficult friend #1 to be around you right now in the excitement of your wedding planning? If she is having difficulties with her own husband then maybe it hurts her to be involved in your wedding at the moment. I think you should be understanding of her situation and be supportive of her in whatever way she needs you.
As far as friend #2, my ACTUAL sister has little interest in the wedding and she is my Maid/Matron of Honor. I know it doesn’t mean she isn’t happy for me or loves me any less, she just has her own life. I am sure your friend feels the same way. I doubt she is intentionally making you feel left out. Just talk to her about it!
Post # 4
I can understand your sadness, but us brides have to remember that no one cares about our wedding as much as we do. 😉 While others may be excited for us, it’s something that doesn’t go through their minds constantly throughout the day (like it does in mine, at least!).
I agree with Rahly–your friend #1 is probably having a hard time being excited for another happy, excited, loving couple when she is going through such a tough time herself. Not that it’s you personally, it’s just probably hard for her to want to be around ANY happy couple, which is why she may have drifted to “new friends.” Which also sucks b/c she is your best friend. Maybe just remind her that you are there for her during her tough and appreciate her helping you celebrate your great point in life. We all go through the good/bad rotation, so hopefully she’ll be able to still a great, excited friend to you.
As for friend #2, I would say if you don’t feel close with her any more, then don’t ask her. However, if you already asked her, I would definitely NOT “demote” her out of the wedding party. That’s just tacky and embarrassing. But it’s your wedding party so you should ask who you are close with and proud to have stand up by you. 🙂
Post # 5
I think you should wait a bit. I am in a similar situation, with people having babies and in school and everyone is really busy including myself. I will be waiting until 12 months to the wedding before asking people to be in the wedding party because I had some friends warn me about feeling like people weren’t around. In actuality there was just too much time before the wedding and people were into their own thing.
When it is closer you will know how you feel about them and it will give you time to mend these relationships because they are important to you. It’s okay to initiate the mending process. It shows you care and want them in your life, and they will appreciate that.