- 4 years ago
- Wedding: September 2013
My FI and I were supposed to be married last night. Key word supposed to. I am pissed hurt, and emotionally drained. I dont know what to do or where to go from here.
Our entire engagement has been an emotional roller coaster. In the begining his sister asked to be in the wedding along with her daughter (mind you I am not close with them at all, they live 12 hours away and still call me by his ex’s name). I agree just to be nice. Well when it comes for her to order her dress I send a mass email to all my BM with a link to the dress, and expectations like shoes, how I would provide someone to do hair and makeup. I get no response. I also needed to call her to get her daughters size for the flower girl dress, because there is not a store near her that has the dress. Called her twice and left a vmail with each call. No response. I text her a few days later again twice. No response. I even text my FI brother who lives near her to see if she has ordered her dress. He doesnt respond either. WTH I ask my FI why are they not responding to me. HIs excuse is because they are shy, very sheltered and done even answer him when he calls. WHATEVER. He was in the hospital a few months ago for two weeks & had to have surgery, I called them several times asking them to call me back over a period of day with no response. Finally I just left a message on their vmail saying FI in the hospital I NEED YOU TO CALL me back. wow that got a response.
A month or so later My FI and i got into a huge argument, I spat out tell your family if they cant even talk to me then dont ask to be in the wedding, how rude do you have to to ask to be in someones wedding and not speak to them so that they can get details in order for their wedding. In which case he told his family I said this. Other than this issue I have never had fights or words with them so i dont know why they are treating me this way. The only thing I can think of that they could have an issue with is that when we visit I alwaysy comment how they shouldn’t swear around my FI niece who is 3, (mainly because she swears more than i do. she called her mom a pussy at one point in time) I would tell them when she goes to school she will get in troubl and possibly get suspended or kicked out. (i go to the extreme because I’ve heard of this happening to a friends little boy)
well a month before the wedding his brothers have yet to get fitted for their tux to be a GM, I told my FI that they needed to get this done or have to pay a rush fee. Wedding week comes they still havent got their tux. day before the Wedding comes and they havent even bothered to show up. I text his brother and ask if they are ccoming to the wedding how it would mean alot to my FI and of course no answer. Wedding Morning FI doesnt want to get married without his family and his mom is threatening if we get married without her being there then she will never talk to him again. WHO FLIPPING CARES. SO FI calls off the wedding.
The wedding was at my dads in the country, my family decorated and paid for the whole thing. I cried almost all day, needless to say i had to cancel the DJ, Photographer, though we still had a get together I had to call everyone to tell them we werent getting married. It was such a depressing experience. Once my FI found out that his family wasnt coming he went to work which really hurt (his reasoning his because he just started this job a month or so ago. & now im begining to wonder if he knew they werent coming & if he even had the day off) I told him i felt like he is leading me on. He said that he wasnt and he did want to get married but he wanted his family to be here. Which I completely understand because if my family couldn’t or wouldn’t make it I dont think I would be able to get married either.
I mentioned just going to the court house and he is opposed because he wants a real wedding and doesnt understand why I want to just go to the court house. Well because I just spent 9 months planning this one and it fell through and I dont trust your family to come to the next one. At this rate we will never get married. I told him I WILL NOT plan another wedding and if he wants to marry me it needs to be soon, but now i dont know if i even want to marry him. My family all thinks I should leave him.
He asked if my family would mind keeping the decorations up so that we could get married in a few weeks when his family could come down. I told him that he would have to ask my dad, but first apologize to my Dad, Grandma and both Aunts who did all the planning.
He says he loves me, and wants to marry me but I dont see it, I feel like if he did he would take my feelings and anxiety for another wedding into consideration, and just go to the court house, and have a “real” wedding. That way if his family doesnt show up again I wont care why because we are already married.