Should I still go to my wedding dress appointment?

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
8720 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

I guess I’m confused. How old are you and your FI?

Why cant the 2 of you as grown adults go look at a venue, decide what you want, and put down your deposit? Why are you waiting for your parents to do it? It seems like if you wait for them you may be waiting for a while and then deal with them flip-flopping back and forth. 

Post # 3
8720 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

As far as your wedding dress appointment you can still go and get an idea of what you like and what looks good on your body type….

Post # 4
1533 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013


I may not understand what is going on, but your parents have NO obligation to pay for your wedding, so I dont know what the negotiating is about.   You tell your fiance that they will not pay.  If he will not accept that you two will have to pay, or have small wedding, IMHO, your problem is not your parents.  I know this is painful, but just becuase his family wants a wedding doesnt mean your parents have to pay.

Post # 5
3756 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

Maybe postpone the wedding until you and your FI can save up and pay for it yourselves. It sounds like your parents aren’t going to make any of this easy for you. 

Post # 8
42182 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Pirouette7:  I know you have traditional and cultural expectations, but at this point I would just chuck it all and elope or have the small wedding that the two of us could afford. Your parents can host a reception on your return.

Post # 9
16 posts
  • Wedding: August 2014

I’ve never heard of the tradition of the father of the bride “overseeing” the wedding? Is that regional? What does that entail?

My take on this situation is to plan your wedding based on what you and your fiance want and what you can afford, and extend an invitation to both families. You can’t control their behavior, and the “negotiation” between your two families could easily lead to bad blood- not the way you want to start your marriage. 

Post # 10
219 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

First, go dress shopping. It doesn’t mean you have to buy a dress and it could be a lot of fun. You are doing research for something you know you are going to buy.

I agree with a lot of the other posters. It’s your wedding. There’s no obligation for parents. In fact, weddings often seem to obligate bad behavior. But, because it’s your wedding it gives you great freedom–it’s your day to do with what you want. If you want to move away from the expectations from others (both sets of parents) you can.  Not saying you want to or that’s the right thing to do, but it’s an option. You might have less money to spend, but you might have less stress and make it more about the two of you?

Post # 12
8680 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

If you continue to have so much trouble, I would just pay for the wedding yourselves. It might be traditional in your family, but it will be so much less of a headache AND you can do things your own way. Also, paying for your own wedding will give you a great feeling of satisfaction.

Post # 13
4827 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2013 - Upstate NY

Why were your parents so against you marrying? They sound super controlling.

Post # 14
1355 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

Pirouette7:  Hooray! Try not to be affected by the things your parents do or don’t do. There were some issues with wedding planning for me in the beginning and looking back, none of it was worth sweating over. 

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