Ring shopping this weekend...any advice?
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Should I tell him I know when he plans to propose???

posted 1 year ago in Waiting
  • poll: Should I tell him?
    Yes : (2 votes)
    4 %
    No : (53 votes)
    96 %
  •  
    1.
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    26 posts
    Newbee
    HotSauce       New York, NY

    Ok, so my boyfriend told a friend of mine (a few months ago) that he had plans to propose to me in January and she decided to ruin the suprise by telling me (ugh). Last weekend he FINALLY tells me that he wants us to go ring shopping and I'm SO excited (since I've been waiting forever AND let's face it...January is right around the corner), but then that got me to wondering....

    I really want the proposal to be special and not know when it's coming, so with that being said...should I tell him that I know so maybe he can change things up a little on his end? Or just pretend like I don't know and act surprised??? Sealed

    HELP!

     
    2.
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    8,542 posts
    Bumble
    Beekeeper
    noritake22    March 31, 2011   Seattle

    I think that it would hurt his feelings, if you told him. He could have told your friend that knowing she/he would tell you, while totally intending to propose at a different time. I think it would be selfish of you to tell him. I am sure that if you had a surprise planned for him that you would be hurt if you found out he knew about it.

     
    3.
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    Bumble bee
    Allyser    September 1, 2010  

    I wonder if he knew she would tell you so he is throwing both of you off?? hmmm 

    Anyways I understand why you would want to tell him and since it is a general time frame you don't really know when he will. I wouldn't say anything- you don't know enough for it to not be a surprise. 

     
    4.
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    Busy bee
    bpcmarj    November 26, 2011   Massachusetts

    My FI had planned to propose on my birthday at the end of August.  This was something that I had hinted at (wanting to be engaged by my birthday), but he had planned a surprise party with our friends and everything.  Of course, he didn't really hide things that well, and I knew there was a party and that was probably where he would propose.

    Well, when he went to pick up my ring a couple of weeks before my birthday with my sister, he knew he couldn't wait.  My sister said she could tell he was so excited and that she knew he couldn't wait those two weeks.  He came home that night, on a random Monday, and proposed a half an hour later in our living room.  I was so happy that I didn't see it coming.

    I guess what I am trying to say is although he may have a plan set, you never know if that might change.  Maybe he just won't be able to wait:)

     
    5.
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    Helper bee
    VintageDivine    August 11, 2012   Portland, OR

    I agree that the ring might start burning a hole in his pocket once he has possession of it - but if not, January is a whole month!  At least you don't know the exact weekend he's supposed to do it on.  I wouldn't let on that you knew anything, I think you'll be suprised enough :)

     
    6.
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    Buzzing
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    CorgiTales    February 1, 2011  

    My friend told me and I knew when my FI was going to propose--- and I will NEVER tell him that I knew! Some things are better left unsaid :)

     
    7.
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    Buzzing bee
    pansyshell    October 8, 2010   Central Pa, Wedding in Outer Banks, NC

    I would not tell him. Like I told another waiting girl, you may know when (in her case how) he is going to propose, but you don't know HOW! Meaning you don't know what he is going to say or how he will act while proposing. You may feel that it's not special because you have an idea of when it's happening. But honestly when it does happen, no matter what, it IS special. I'd just do my best to let him carry out his plans. I know it's hard, I've been there, but it's worth it in the end.

     
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    Helper bee
    Ei    September 10, 2011  

    i wouldn't tell him now, maybe wait a few years into your marriage!

     
    9.
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    Bumble bee
    In the media    June 29, 2013   Indiana, but wedding in St. Louis

    You don't know when it will happen in January, so there is still a surprise factor there. And you don't know how it will happen. So really, it's just like it would be without you knowing since so many elements are still a mystery.

    Just go along with it and if you feel like telling him, tell him months after the fact.

     
    10.
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    SapphireSun    July 9, 2010   Vancouver, BC

    I knew when my husband was going to propose and he will never hear a word about it from me.  The moment will still be special, I promise!  And "January" isn't really an exact time.  I think there's still plenty of room for a surprise!  It just might be more the "how' than the "when".

     
    11.
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    Busy bee
    7mom    August 4, 2015   MD

    Please don't tell him, you will still be surprised. There are 31 days in Jan, 24 hours a day, 744 hours to make his proposal. BTW I hope he doesn't make you wait till January.

     
    12.
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    Busy bee
    lisalew5472    September 29, 2012   Friendswood, TX

    I'm with everyone here. Don't let him know.

     
    13.
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    Helper bee
    tinkaluv    December 4, 2010   Baltimore, MD

    I think you should still act suprised, but trust me you will still be in awe when he does propose even though you knew it was coming. When its happening you will be so happy that you will forget all about your friend tell you and you will just enjoy the moment.

     
    14.
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    Busy bee
    prettyflowers    September 2010  

    As others have said, don't tell him you know...

    A - you may wind up waiting longer than Jan 2011 if he has to come up with another plan

    B - how surprised were you really going to be anyway?  You knew he'd propose eventually.  And he asked you to ring shop.  I think there's still room for you to not see it coming if he sets up a plan for "January 2011."

    C - I think you're lucky you DO know his general timeframe.  Otherwise, you'd probably be going nuts if he takes you ring shopping now and then nothing happens for the next 4-5 months until Jan.

     
    15.
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    Helper bee
    ILuvDance17    September 22, 2012   St. Louis

    I'm with the others, don't tell him!  I knew when my FI was going to propose...not that far ahead, but I knew.  While we were at dinner he was acting funny, and a lot more lovey than usual, then he asked if after dinner we could go watch the sunset (which we've done before).  Then I knew he was going to propose.  He has no idea that I knew and it would break his heart if I told him.  So much about weddings is about the bride, and the proposal is the guys "one thing" so let him have this.  I was still thrilled when FI actually asked, and so will you. :)

     
    16.
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    26 posts
    Newbee
    HotSauce       New York, NY

    Great advice everyone, thanks!...I will keep these lips sealed! :)

     
    17.
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    485 posts
    Helper bee
    eseds    September 4, 2011   Long Island, NY

    My FH told his cousin that he was planning to propose at our BBQ... she then told me he was planning a NYE party for a proposal.  She said after the fact that she lied to me on purpose so I wouldnt suspect anything... and I didnt... but I would never tell my FH either way that I knew he was even planning... he worked so hard to make it surprise... I would have felt terrible to ruin it for him

     

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