Should I tell him what his mom said? Help!

posted 3 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
2687 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015 - Ketchum, ID

@cherriesandcream:  are you planning on getting married before his sister’s wedding? If not, then I wouldn’t tell him. Why add that drama into the family? 

Post # 4
Member
6048 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

I wouldn’t tell him.  You may want to have a general conversation about timelines, it doesn’t sound like you had one.  Also his mom probably was saying that as it’s her daughter getting married and she is very involved and overwhelmed. 

Post # 5
Member
885 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@cherriesandcream:  If it were me, I would bring it up to him.  Mostly because I think the idea of someone’s parents dictating when they are allowed to proposed to their SO is just plain silly.  I would say something like “Omg you won’t believe what your mom told my mom… isn’t that ridiculous?”

Post # 8
Member
2687 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015 - Ketchum, ID

@cherriesandcream:  Well, it still is an option. But I’m very under the attitude of “I do what I want”, haha. How close to her wedding are you planning on getting married? If she’s already planning on getting married, and you’re not even engaged yet, you must be planning on having one really quickly? 

Post # 11
Member
965 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

@cherriesandcream:  I would bring up timelines. If you want his opinion on getting married before or around his sisters wedding then just ask. “How would you feel about getting married in April?” That’s his chance to tell you if getting married before his sister is an issue to him.

IMHO: To be fair to his family, keep it at least 3 weeks apart in either direction. It’s not fair to ask his entire family to spend so much time devoted to weddings in such a short amount of time.

Post # 12
Member
1441 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Your mom should not have repeated that to you.  Is she trying to stir up drama??

Post # 14
Member
131 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

Are you sure she was being 100% serious? That sounds like something I might say sarcastically, just as a way of expressing how overwhelming sister’s wedding is… but if I said it, the statement would be more about the other wedding than about the possibility of this one.

Try to let it go. You don’t know if she meant what she said or if something was lost in translation, and even if she did mean it, she might feel quite a bit different about it once she knows you want something small anyway.

Post # 15
Member
885 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@cherriesandcream:  Maybe it would be a good opportunity for you to talk to him about how much he takes his parents advice, and how much he plans to do so going forward.  Parental involvement in your lives can be a major source of conflict in marriage and wedding planning if you aren’t on the same page, so this could give you a chance to discuss it.

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