Should I tell man cheated 4 days before wedding

posted 2 years ago in Relationships
Post # 2
Member
3415 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Personally, I would keep my nose out of it if I were you. 

Why are you angry with him? I assume you knew he was engaged when you slept with him?

Post # 3
Member
2261 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

And you post this on this site why? 

Post # 4
Member
195 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

It is with a heavy heart I must admit… if I were his fiance I would want to know. However you would be potentially ruining both of thekr lives, not just his… You must be able to deal with being the cause of it. Also… a wedding is a huge emltional and financial investment… that would all go to waste if she were to call it off.

Post # 5
Member
2892 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

Susana888: getting divorced is much more expensive (financially and emotionally) than calling off a wedding, even if it’s only four days out. 

Sunnygal37: if I were in your shoes, I would let the bride know, anonymously if possible. FI shouldn’t have dipped his quill in the wrong inkwell. I find it’s simpler to only get involved with people who aren’t involved with others, but that ship has sailed. 

Whatever you decide, good luck to you. 

Post # 6
Member
108 posts
Blushing bee

Thats kinda tricky. It would ruin everything. But why were you even sleeping with this man if you know he was getting Married? You should just tell him to confess it to his soon to be wife… as for me, I would of want to know… marriage is a big commitment

Post # 7
Member
715 posts
Busy bee

Sunnygal37:  It’s a hard decision, but I don’t think you should tell her this close to the wedding. It’s his responsibiltiy, not yours. He’s the one marrying her, so he is the one who has to decide whether to come clean or to keep it a secret. 

Post # 8
Member
3097 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013 - A court...

Yup. 

Idk why everyone is saying no? The bride to be should know and decide whether this is the man she wants to marry or not. The guy made his choice (op) now it’s her turn. 

Post # 9
Member
870 posts
Busy bee

I’d want to know. So yes you should. 

Post # 10
Member
3016 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014 - Prague

I don’t understand this sort of thing. If you were ok sleeping with an engaged man, how come now you’re coming over all moral and want to “help” her?

If you wanted to help her, how about NOT sleeping with him in the first place? I suggest that if you want to be solid with the girls, you stop fooling around with their boyfriends. It will save us all a lot of pearl clutching later.

Post # 12
Member
388 posts
Helper bee

I hate that people are blaming this on the OP. It is much more his fault than hers. He’s the one in a committed relationship, not her. He broke a committment, she didn’t. It’s wrong to sleep with someone who’s in a relationship but you know what, he could have said no! Men have brains, they can make decisions.

I definitely think you should tell his fiance. I would DEFINITELY want to know. You will save her a hell of a lot of trouble. She needs to know so she can get out now. Much better now than after the wedding! Definitely tell her, she has a right to know the kind of man she’s marrying.

Post # 13
Member
3016 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014 - Prague

Well, it takes two people to cheat, so OP is half responsible. I don’t think she TRICKED the dude into cheating, but it sounds like she knew very well he was not single, so I just don’t understand her sudden attack of morals now, that’s all.

 

Post # 14
Member
65 posts
Worker bee

Tell her! I hope your doing this for the right reasons and not to have him to yourself kind of thing. I suggest in furture to stay away from taken men i understand if he has hurt you in some way but at the same time you should know better. Telling her before when you were ‘fooling around’ would of been alot easier! That poor girl 

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