Post # 1
So I am the woman man cheated with and he is getting married this Saturday. I don’t know his fiancé at all and I’m on the fence if I should tell her. I have her contact info but I know the repercussions this will bring on by disclosing such damaging info. He claims she jokingly told him to have a hall pass and get it out of his system but he says she was just joking of course. What should I do? Am I just angry at him for how he treated me and want to possibly ruin his life or should this gal find out? not sure makes a difference but he and I folord around briefly months ago and just this one night this past weekend.
Post # 2
Personally, I would keep my nose out of it if I were you.
Why are you angry with him? I assume you knew he was engaged when you slept with him?
Post # 3
And you post this on this site why?
Post # 4
It is with a heavy heart I must admit… if I were his fiance I would want to know. However you would be potentially ruining both of thekr lives, not just his… You must be able to deal with being the cause of it. Also… a wedding is a huge emltional and financial investment… that would all go to waste if she were to call it off.
Post # 5
Susana888: getting divorced is much more expensive (financially and emotionally) than calling off a wedding, even if it’s only four days out.
Sunnygal37: if I were in your shoes, I would let the bride know, anonymously if possible. FI shouldn’t have dipped his quill in the wrong inkwell. I find it’s simpler to only get involved with people who aren’t involved with others, but that ship has sailed.
Whatever you decide, good luck to you.
Post # 6
Thats kinda tricky. It would ruin everything. But why were you even sleeping with this man if you know he was getting Married? You should just tell him to confess it to his soon to be wife… as for me, I would of want to know… marriage is a big commitment
Post # 7
Sunnygal37: It’s a hard decision, but I don’t think you should tell her this close to the wedding. It’s his responsibiltiy, not yours. He’s the one marrying her, so he is the one who has to decide whether to come clean or to keep it a secret.
Post # 8
- Wedding: April 2013 - A court...
Idk why everyone is saying no? The bride to be should know and decide whether this is the man she wants to marry or not. The guy made his choice (op) now it’s her turn.
Post # 9
I’d want to know. So yes you should.
Post # 10
- Wedding: July 2014 - Prague
I don’t understand this sort of thing. If you were ok sleeping with an engaged man, how come now you’re coming over all moral and want to “help” her?
If you wanted to help her, how about NOT sleeping with him in the first place? I suggest that if you want to be solid with the girls, you stop fooling around with their boyfriends. It will save us all a lot of pearl clutching later.
Post # 11
prahajess: Yes this, exactly!!
Post # 12
I hate that people are blaming this on the OP. It is much more his fault than hers. He’s the one in a committed relationship, not her. He broke a committment, she didn’t. It’s wrong to sleep with someone who’s in a relationship but you know what, he could have said no! Men have brains, they can make decisions.
I definitely think you should tell his fiance. I would DEFINITELY want to know. You will save her a hell of a lot of trouble. She needs to know so she can get out now. Much better now than after the wedding! Definitely tell her, she has a right to know the kind of man she’s marrying.
Post # 13
- Wedding: July 2014 - Prague
Well, it takes two people to cheat, so OP is half responsible. I don’t think she TRICKED the dude into cheating, but it sounds like she knew very well he was not single, so I just don’t understand her sudden attack of morals now, that’s all.
Post # 14
Tell her! I hope your doing this for the right reasons and not to have him to yourself kind of thing. I suggest in furture to stay away from taken men i understand if he has hurt you in some way but at the same time you should know better. Telling her before when you were ‘fooling around’ would of been alot easier! That poor girl
Post # 15
thanks for all the feedback so far. Initially he misled me and I did not know he was engaged. I did know now and he was manipulative and definitely pursued me for this but I am not an innocent party either. I don’t want him for myself.
I am leaning towards not telling her at this point But haven’t made final decision