Post # 1
We have been pretty mum on our pregnancy until this coming Friday when we have our ultrasound (I will be 12 weeks and 5 days). At that point we are unleashing the beasts, aka my mom and MIL, on the universe to spread the news since they are chomping at the bit.
Up to this point, we’ve told parents and siblings only. The only other people that know are most of my coworkers and DH’s boss. We haven’t even told our friends.
Since my BFF got married, I have seen little to nothing of her, but that is a whole separate issue I am not willing to discuss at this point. She is coming over tonight though, which I am excited about. While we are 99.9% sure we are still pregnant and everything is good (we had a very terrific scan a few weeks ago), we won’t have our scan until Friday, leaving that slight uncertainty, but a part of me would love to tell her in person, alone, without her stupid H interfering (while not giving out too much info I’ve posted about him before where he answers texts for her with me thinking it is her and he is also the infamous one-upper).
I will not be seeing her before Friday, so that leaves either telling her tonight, with a slight possibility of having to tell her “Hey nevermind” or having to call her Friday after everything and telling her then (I need to tell her before everyone starts posting on my FB). While I am ok with calling her, a part of me would like to have that intimate one on one with her without having to be questioned on why I am calling her.
I know she’d be supportive on the slight chance the baby did stop growing, but I’m just not sure if I should wait, how many of you waited, or if I should just share in my joy now?
Post # 3
Share you joy, and if something that happens then you can share your sorrow.
Post # 4
deactivate your FB or change the setting to prevent people posting on your wall until you can tell everyone.
But i would tell her in person since she is your BFF.
Post # 5
- Wedding: August 2015 - Backyard Forest
If she’s your best friend… if god forbid something happened, I’m sure she would be a support to you… and it wouldn’t be a ‘hey nevermind’ it would be a ‘I need my best friend’ situation. If even she has a dumb husband, she deserves to be told in person if you can!
Post # 6
Thanks, ladies. I am going to tell her tonight. I hope she’s happy for me 🙂
Post # 7
@megz06: I would absolutely tell your BFF, in fact I am surprised you haven’t already. She is there for emotional support regardless of what happens!
My BFF had a miscarriage and while she told me very early I was able to be there for her through the ups and downs of moving on. She called me in tears and I knew right away something had happened. I am so thankful that I was able to be by her side to support her. It is always nice to have someone to count on.
Post # 8
@megz06: I think you should share!!!
Post # 9
@megz06: If something was amiss, would you tell her about the pregnancy at all? I would only tell her if you would be comfortable talking about anything being amiss. I don’t know how to word this without sounding negative. I will use my own example.
When I miscarried at 12 weeks, no one knew except my husband and mother. I would not have wanted to discuss the loss with my friends because I felt it was none of their business. If I had someone I would go to about the miscarriage and they’d find out either way anyway (such as my mom), then sure, tell her. If you only want to announce a pregnancy and not any potential issues, then no, don’t. It doesn’t sound like you two are as close anymore so I’m not sure I’d choose to confide at this time.
Post # 10
@Treejewel19: I debated on telling her sooner, but I didn’t share the news because we found out the morning of her wedding, andI wasn’t about to tell her then. My dog was also in doggie hospital with seizures, so we had a lot on our mind. She left for her 9 day honeymoon the day after her wedding, so I didn’t pester her then either. It seemed like there was no good time to tell her in person as this will be the 2nd time since her 7/31 wedding that I have seen her, and I really wanted to tell her in person.
I’m sure she will be happy for me, at least I hope so. She has no reason not to, but her husband is a very good brain washer and, as I briefly mentioned in my post, thinks he’s in competion with us–he tries to one up us all the time, and I wouldn’t be surprised if he tries to make her believe we got pregnant because they just got a new boat or vehicle. I’m hoping she is smarter than that to believe something, but I am not putting it past him to try that backhanded crap.
I think, deep down, he is the biggest reason I haven’t said anything.
Post # 11
@MrsPanda99: I still consider her a very close friend even though her husband is starting to drive a wedge in the time we spend together. We still text each other a fair deal but only throughout the day since I know that is when she has her phone and not him, I would discuss a loss with her if it were to happen. I just haven’t said anything becuase her husband is attached at her hip, like always. I can’t even be alone with her for two seconds without him being right there–same goes for her mother too. She can’t spend any time with her mom without him being there. He knows nobody likes him, so he constantly believes we are all trying to talk her out of the relationship. What’s done is done now that they are married, and I don’t care what they do with their lives, but I do care about my friendship with her, and I want to have that bond with only her.
Post # 12
We started telling our family/best friends at 9 weeks. If the situation arose where we were with people in person and it was hard to hide it, we just were honest about it. Our reasoning was that if we did miscarry, we would tell these people we miscarried and look to them for support. That was where the line was drawn with telling. We waited until 12 week U/S to share with everyone else.
If she would be one of the people you’d turn to if you did happen to miscarry, then I’d tell her now and share that in-person, special time with her.
Post # 13
@MadTownGirl: Thanks for your input.
Thanks again, everyone. I will tell her tonight and hopefully she is happy for me 🙂