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I'd just let him figure it out. I would be careful not to talk to him about the wedding, so that he doesn't have real reason to expect that he's included.
Just let him figure it out. Does it really matter to you how he takes the information? It sounds like you're not close or anything, and he treated your friend terribly. Just because he's still in a friend group doesn't mean he should be expecting to be invited. Don't even worry about it, I'd say.
He'll figure it out when he doesn't get an invitation in the mail. ;)
I kind of have a same situation. I have an ex that I dated for over 4 years (we nearly got married) and all of my FI's and I's friends are all his friends too. We rarely see him (or his wife, for that matter), and there's a lot of bad blood between him and my FI. We are, however, really good friends with his sister, and we are inviting her to our wedding. :)
So I say let him figure it out on his own. Don't even think about it anymore: you have bigger and better things to worry about than this!
Let him figure it out. If he thinks he is getting an invite, wow, that's pretty presumptuous, considering all the crappy things he has done in the past!
He'll figure it out. And since you say he's still friends with your group, I'm sure that they will put him in check if he mentions going. I don't think you'll have to worry too much about it.
I guess I'd just let him figure it out, as long as you are absolutley certain that no one in your group of friends will bring him as their date... That could be awkward!
The solution is simple: do not invite him. I'd also suggest that if your FH is not a fan of him, that you should probably cut communication. If he complains about not being invited, just ignore it. It's *your* wedding and you do not have to justify your decisions to him.
I would not even address the issue with him. He should assume that it's not appropriate (as it's not), and shouldn't expect an invite.
I'm sure he'll figure it out. He'll ask a mutual friend, so make sure your friends know that he's not invited!
Well that was unanimous! Thanks guys. You're right, I just wanted to get some other opinions! He will figure it out. I already sent out save-the-dates and didn't send one to him and let the rest of my friends know. So if he asks about it then I should be all set! :)
I guess I have another opinion than everyone else here. I may be reading to much into this but it seems like maybe this was kind of like a high school relationship- I am getting this from the fact that your good friend also dated him, so I am assuming that the relationship wasn't a serious one. I'm thinking back to my relationships in high school, or juat any unserious relationships in general, and if I am still friends with the person to the point that I'm okay with him going out with a friend then I think you should tell him that he isn't invited. Of course he will figure it out either way, but I'm thinking that by the unseriousness of the relationship that he may be confused why he's not invited. Either way, its an awkward conversation.
Disregard if I'm reading way too into your post.
haha thanks Joslyn. It was actually my first relationship in college. We dated/hooked up on and off for a couple years so it was kinda serious. He ended up dating the girl that is now my bridesmaid from junior/senior year of college until about a year ago (3-4 years). I didn't actually become friends with the girl until they were dating. I actually lived with the bm my senior year and have been in the same city as her for the last 2 years so we've become really close. Honestly he was a crappy boyfriend to me, and then even worse to her, so I'm thinking I should just not tell him, but I hate to cause strife you know?
@ Kara- in that case then there is no reason to tell him. He should figure it out, and since he was such a crummy boyfriend I doubt he would think he was entitled to an invite anyway
Just don't invite him. I'd also recommend not talking about the wedding around him, so he doesn't expect an invitation.
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I have an ex-boyfriend who is still mostly friends with a lot of my friends. I'm on friendly terms with him, but we do not speak on the phone-just an occasional email here and there. It's been over 6 years since we've been together. My fiance is not a fan of his, and honestly he's done some crappy things since then (he dated and dumped my friend (and bridesmaid!) in a terrible way and then proposed to her-bad stuff) and so I've decided not to invite him to the wedding.
My question is, since he is still kinda a part of our friend group should I tell him gently that he's not invited, or just let him figure it out? Either way seems kinda cruel, honestly. I think it should be obvious that it is because he is my ex that he's not invited, but I don't know how he'll take it. Just not sure what the best way to approach it is. I would appreciate any advice!
Thanks!