(Closed) Should I tell my Ex he’s not invited or just let it be?

posted 9 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
1363 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

I’d just let him figure it out.  I would be careful not to talk to him about the wedding, so that he doesn’t have real reason to expect that he’s included.

Post # 4
Member
672 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

Just let him figure it out.  Does it really matter to you how he takes the information?  It sounds like you’re not close or anything, and he treated your friend terribly.  Just because he’s still in a friend group doesn’t mean he should be expecting to be invited.  Don’t even worry about it, I’d say.

Post # 5
Member
558 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

He’ll figure it out when he doesn’t get an invitation in the mail. 😉

I kind of have a same situation. I have an ex that I dated for over 4 years (we nearly got married) and all of my FI’s and I’s friends are all his friends too. We rarely see him (or his wife, for that matter), and there’s a lot of bad blood between him and my FI. We are, however, really good friends with his sister, and we are inviting her to our wedding. 🙂

So I say let him figure it out on his own. Don’t even think about it anymore: you have bigger and better things to worry about than this!

Post # 6
Member
699 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

Let him figure it out. If he thinks he is getting an invite, wow, that’s pretty presumptuous, considering all the crappy things he has done in the past!

Post # 7
Member
898 posts
Busy bee

He’ll figure it out. And since you say he’s still friends with your group, I’m sure that they will put him in check if he mentions going. I don’t think you’ll have to worry too much about it.

Post # 8
Member
473 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I guess I’d just let him figure it out, as long as you are absolutley certain that no one in your group of friends will bring him as their date… That could be awkward!

Post # 9
Member
38 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2009

The solution is simple: do not invite him. I’d also suggest that if your FH is not a fan of him, that you should probably cut communication. If he complains about not being invited, just ignore it. It’s *your* wedding and you do not have to justify your decisions to him.

Post # 10
Member
1078 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2009

I would not even address the issue with him. He should assume that it’s not appropriate (as it’s not), and shouldn’t expect an invite.

 

Post # 11
Member
5823 posts
Bee Keeper

I’m sure he’ll figure it out.  He’ll ask a mutual friend, so make sure your friends know that he’s not invited!

Post # 13
Member
271 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I guess I have another opinion than everyone else here. I may be reading to much into this but it seems like maybe this was kind of like a high school relationship- I am getting this from the fact that your good friend also dated him, so I am assuming that the relationship wasn’t a serious one. I’m thinking back to my relationships in high school, or juat any unserious relationships in general, and if I am still friends with the person to the point that I’m okay with him going out with a friend then I think you should tell him that he isn’t invited. Of course he will figure it out either way, but I’m thinking that by the unseriousness of the relationship that he may be confused why he’s not invited. Either way, its an awkward conversation.

Disregard if I’m reading way too into your post.  

Post # 15
Member
271 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

@ Kara- in that case then there is no reason to tell him. He should figure it out, and since he was such a crummy boyfriend I doubt he would think he was entitled to an invite anyway

Post # 16
Member
521 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

Just don’t invite him.  I’d also recommend not talking about the wedding around him, so he doesn’t expect an invitation.

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