Should I tell my friend how I've been feeling

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 2
Member
1248 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

MrsHistory-Bee:  If she’s just been through a break up her head is probably in a few different places as things have obviously changed quite quickly for her. I agree with you that it would be courteous of her to let you know if she has changed her mind about City C so you can move on with your own plans but it probably is the truth that it’s something she is considering at the moment if City A etc. doesn’t work out and there is nothing more concrete she can tell you right now. So I wouldn’t go making plans around her, make them to suit yourself and if she can slot into them later once she’s made her mind up great, if not then that’s how it goes. As for the comfort zone stuff that’s not really territory I would get into, it’s her choice what she does.

Post # 3
Member
109 posts
Blushing bee

Where I live it takes a good amount of time to find a place, and that’s with already knowing exactly what you’re looking for.  Not knowing what you can afford or how many rooms you should look for would make apartment hunting literally impossible.  For that reason, I would be bothered if someone wasn’t straight forward with me. 

It sounds to me like she has commitment issues and maybe doesn’t realize that it’s having an impact on your planning.  She might just want to have all options open to her.  Have you explicitly told her that she’s holding you up?  Or maybe give her a drop dead date so that she knows when she needs to commit by?

Post # 5
Member
357 posts
Helper bee

MrsHistory-Bee:  why do you think she owes you an explanation for looking into different cities and not just your own city. What if she’s just trying to cast a bigger net and see where she lands? 

You are right, moving in with you is not her priority now. Her priorirty is concentrating on her well being. Her world doesn’t revolved around you, you know?

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