Should I tell the bride I want to start trying?

posted 3 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
1184 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

No, I think you’re assuming you’ll get pregnant immediately, not to mention, your life decisions shouldn’t revolve around anyone else’s.

Post # 4
Member
2565 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

You can tell her once you are pregnant at a time you would feel comfortable announcing it to friends.  

Post # 5
Member
209 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Nope! My brides maid is trying to conceive and I’m her biggest cheerleader! its a big decision that only you and your husband can make. yes its her wedding but that  doesn’t make her the ruler of your life!!! 🙂 

Post # 7
Member
4483 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

I wouldn’t, but I’m also a very private person and I already know I may have trouble conceiving.

Post # 8
Member
329 posts
Helper bee

I agree with @pixiecat: and @stuckinwonderland: You don’t know how long it will take for you to get pregnant so I think you should go ahead with your plan and then let the bride know once you are pregnant.

 

Post # 9
Member
1729 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013 - Walt Disney World

My MOH told me in confidence that she and her husband were TTC and it didn’t bother me one bit!  I was so happy for her and told her not to worry about the dress and that I was sure we can find something that she would be comfortable in and that if she didn’t feel up to task for any of the various wedding events, just to let me know and everything would be fine.  She ended up being a gorgeous 7-months-along on my wedding day was radiant!

Post # 10
Member
1036 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@serendipity9.8:  I think you should only tell her if your hesitation about things is effecting your relationship together. I know if one of my friends was being distant I might assume she wasn’t happy for me or something was wrong between us. 

With that said, as long as your hesitation isn’t coming across to her or effecting your relationship – you dont have to plan your life decisions around anyone’s wedding day. Good luck on having a healthy and happy baby! 

Post # 11
Member
789 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Yeah I wouldn’t, just move forward with your plans and see what happens. You would be causing everyone undue stress. That being said, if you think there is any chance that you can’t be in the wedding because of finances or anything else it might make sense to explain to her what is going on now before it gets too close.

Post # 12
Member
1157 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I agree with PPs, you have no idea how long it will take. My one suggestion would be to make sure that you get an empire waist bridesmaid dress, just in case!

Post # 13
Member
3635 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

If she is one of your best friends and you WANT to share with her outside of the wedding, do.  If you want to keep it private, do.

My sister in law kept telling me that she was going to wait ’till after my wedding to get pregnant.  I told my brother to knock her up so she didn’t get drunk and stupid at the wedding (jokingly).  I told her to not plan her life around mine – that whatever happened we would work around it because that was the rest of her life and her family and my wedding was about me and I would fit her into it. 

She ended up being about 7weeks at the wedding (they claim it was an early oops).  I was smart enough to order a dress for her with a corset back also and didn’t get it tailored at all until the week before the wedding. 

Post # 14
Member
6273 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

@serendipity9.8:  don’t tell her ahead of time.  after you are pregnant and ready to tell people, then you can tell her.  you should not put your life on hold for her wedding.

 

Post # 15
Hostess
22135 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2011

I wouldn’t tell the bride anything until there’s anything to tell. And if you do become pregnant before the wedding, definitely share the news with her. If you’re close enough that you’re in her wedding, she will be thrilled for you, even if it means making a few adjustments to plans. 🙂

Post # 16
Member
608 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

First I wouldnt tell the bride anything until there is anything to tell or you’re 100% sure you do not want to be a bridesmaid.  Having said that how long has it been since you agreed to be a bridesmaid? If you are seriously considering dropping out please do so SOON as I would be very upset the longer my friend waited to tell me she wasnt going to be a bridesmaid.

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