(Closed) Should I try to break them up? I'm so torn!!!! (sorry long!)

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
1068 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

Talk to him. He’s the one who is your friend, and he’s the one you’ll remain friends with. Tell him that it’s not fair for her for him to stay with her and “waste her final fertile years” when he doesn’t feel the same way she does. Guys don’t have a biological clock. They don’t think about these things. IF you can’t convince him to make up his own mind about it, then you’ve done all you can. I don’t think you should go to her, though. That would probably just ruin your relationship with him.

Post # 4
Member
3887 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I think it’s going to be best for everyone if you just tell them they need to talk to eachother about these very important issues, and not insert yourself into the middle of it. Truthfully, it’s not really your business if she wants kids and he doesn’t, nor is it your business if she loves him and he doesn’t love her yet– it’s their business. 

They should be talking to each other, not to you, and whenever the subject comes up between one of them and you, the only right thing to do is tell Jeff to tell Bethany, or tell Bethany to tell Jeff. Period.  Nothing good will come of you continuing to be in the middle of it all.

Post # 5
Member
1403 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

I would stay out of it.  If she tells him she loves him and he doesn’t say it back, I think she’ll get it.  It’s been over a year!  That’s a long time to date someone without saying the L word.

Post # 7
Member
9625 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

@lth2017:   Stay out of it altogether.  They’re both adults, they’ll figure out what to do on their own.

Post # 8
Member
43 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I think one would know if they love someone after 1 year.  I think he should end it with her based on that.

 

Post # 9
Member
9559 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

I’d stay out of it. If either one of them brings it up in the future I would encourage them to talk to the other about expectations about where the relationship is going but I wouldn’t do anything beyong that. Not your responsibility.

Post # 10
Member
705 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 1993

What? Why on earth would you put yourself in the middle of someone else’s relationship?  No way, you stay out of this one.

Post # 12
Member
9625 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

@lth2017:  You have a very kind heart and wonderful intentions.

But she needs to figure this out for herself.  Besides, maybe he will fall in love with her after all. 

If you say something to her she will most likely resent you.  A lot.

Post # 13
Member
140 posts
Blushing bee

Stay out of it. They are adults, you don’t need to be passing notes for them. If you feel like it puts you in an akward position, next time one of them starts talking about the other just change the subject or tell them you would prefer not to discuss their relationship because you are friends with both of them, or something like that.

Post # 14
Member
2697 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Are you kidding? Stay out of it. None of this is your responsibility.

Post # 15
Member
189 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Seriously don’t know if you are a troll or not but if you’re not… god help all dating couples.

It is not your place to decide to try and break people up! Let them get on with their own lives and make their own decisions or mistakes.

Post # 16
Member
509 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I agree with everyone else. Although you have great intentions, it is not your place to say or do anything. Hopefully he’ll man up and tell her the truth. I’m not a fan of your friend Jeff for leading her on though, and for a year at that? When she finds out she’s going to be heartbroken and you don’t want any part of that nor do you want to be the one to blame. I’d leave it be and just pray for the both of them.

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